Disney Channel television shows exist in universes that are so obtuse, it actually makes me kind of uncomfortable. I’m not even talking your Wizards of Waverly Place or any other show that’s meant to take place in a fantasy world, but the ones that are meant to take place on some semblance of planet Earth. Now we get JESSIE, but more specifically, Chris Bosh’s awfully strange cameo in it.
JESSIE is about four rich New York City kids under the care of a young nanny whose name is JESSIE. She is a “fun-loving and friendly 18-year-old Texan! She has big dreams for New York and is determined to see them all come true.” JESSIE’s parents clearly hated her because they named her with all caps, but that’s neither here nor there. This is about the kids coming upon Chris Bosh in a park, arguing with him about the Knicks and Bosh succumbing to the snark of the snarky Indian boy.
We forgot to mention that JESSIE was a cheerleader for an opposing team Chris once played in high school. Debby Ryan, who plays JESSIE, was 11 years old when Bosh graduated high school.
The two boys proceed to invite Bosh into their lavish home, maybe because the Heat don’t want him staying in the team hotel because the socks he hasn’t washed in over 15 years smell terrible. There’s a tug-of-war over Chris’ luggage, where the boys discover the socks that smell like a skunk who ate burritos.
I don’t want to have anything more to do with this universe.
[via Ball Don’t Lie]