Hey guys, more accusations against Lance Armstrong! This is really important news! He’s now facing a 1,000-page document to be released by the USADA which details his scheme to outmaneuver anti-doping agencies and rules for a number of years. 11 former teammates, including Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton, are cooperating witnesses in the report.
“The anti-doping body revealed a group of 11 former Armstrong teammates — some loyal, some estranged — who each provided evidence of drug use on the U.S. Postal Service team. USADA Chief Executive Travis Tygart called it ‘the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen.'”
Armstrong’s attorney followed up today’s news with a run-of-the-milld denial, saying this:
“Armstrong’s attorney, Tim Herman, called the report ;a one-sided hatchet job — a taxpayer funded tabloid piece rehashing old, disproved, unreliable allegations based largely on axe-grinders, serial perjurers, coerced testimony, sweetheart deals and threat-induced stories.'”
More important than the fact-finding mission of the report, this concludes all official investigations. After Armstrong was cleared of criminal charges after a dragged out two-year case, this USADA investigation was the last step in the Armstrong saga.
Of course, as everyone knows, Armstrong accepted the sanctions against him to stop all the hoopla already – but this report is, finally, the official end of this chapter. And, with it, any and all interest in cycling. Sometimes PEDs just make everything better, amirite?
But seriously: at this point, who the hell cares? It’s about time this story went away once and for all – there was (and might still be) massive doping in cycling, a sport no one really cared about until a guy with one testicle won a lot and may have been doping. But now that the one-testicled guy is banned for life and most of the dopers have been outed, there’s really nothing to talk about. At least now we can go back to our regularly scheduled lives and continue to not watch cycling.