There are many advantages to being Michael Jordan. The ability to get away with wearing cargo shorts, alas, is not one of them. New York Post gossip factory Page Six reported today that Jordan, in the middle of playing a round at Miami Beach country club La Gorce, was told his cargo shorts failed to meet the club’s standards for attire, was given the chance to change… and didn’t, presumably figuring the whole “being Michael Jordan” thing would carry the day. It didn’t. So despite, according to a Jordan rep, playing many cargo-shorted rounds at the club in question without incident previously, he won’t be back. Score one for egalitarianism, we guess.
When I saw this story, my first thought was something like “lol what a ridiculous controversy.” But my second thought was: “Wait, cargo shorts? Doesn’t everyone kind of hate those now?” In an attempt to find out, I informally and unscientifically polled five of the most fashion-y people I know. The results indicate that beyond violating club policy, MJ also violated basic fashion sense. The most positive response I got out anyone was that cargo pants “can be pulled off sometimes.” (It should be noted that one person questioned differentiated between cargo pants and cargo shorts, the latter of which “should just go away.” Sorry, Mike.)
But then, I thought: “Wait, doesn’t MJ always dress pretty terribly? Shouldn’t this be what we’ve all come to expect from him?” The answer: yes. For proof, see the gallery of Jordan outfits through the years below (compiled with considerable help from What The F*** is Michael Jordan Wearing?). Have a look, and ask yourself: what the f*** is Michael Jordan wearing?