Two things I gleaned upon listening to “I’m Only Human,” the last song on Rick Ross’ 2008 album Trilla: 1. He wished his dad was around to watch him play football, and 2. Chocolate milk makes you fart real bad.
A lineman out of Carol City High School in Miami, Ross attended Albany State on a football scholarship. And based on this video, which was released ahead of his fifth studio album “God Forgives, I Don’t,” and shows him wheezing around on the basketball court in his immaculately-sheared backyard, he probably wasn’t the worst lineman in the world. The Bawse, you see, has surprising closing speed. (Go to the 50-second mark if you don’t believe me.)
Sure, he’s a terrible basketball player. But, because he’s Rick Ross, that doesn’t stop him from talking an amount of shit that signals a near-psychotic break with reality. The Heat will be blowing up his cell phone any minute now, you see. Maybe they’ll have Yoo-Hoo.