Which NFL Players Would Survive In The Walking Dead?

Which NFL Players Would Survive In The Walking Dead?
  • Scott Engel

WARNING: THE WALKING DEAD SPOILERS INCLUDED HERE

After watching the devastating death of Shiva this week on The Walking Dead, we were reminded that for every potential victory, there is a lot of heartbreak. That’s sort of like life in the NFL. So if there were indeed a real zombie outbreak, who would last among our favorite pro footballers? If you have any witty ideas of your own here as to who would survive, please them with me on Twitter @scotteRotoEx, using hashtag #walkingdeadnfl and I’ll share them here soon in another piece.

SURVIVORS

Tom Brady and Bill Belichick would come up with the ultimate survival plans. They would defeat all their enemies, living and dead. After how they outlasted Seattle in Super Bowl XLIX and overcame a significant deficit in SB LI, I’d even bet on them taking on the Saviors with better results than Rick and his band had. No one’s getting killed by Lucille with Brady and Belichick in charge.

Brady would also not put up with another guy being called Jesus.

Russell Wilson would dodge and evade most of the zombies he encountered, while Pete Carroll would run alongside him and cheer him on.

Golden Tate would stay alive for a very long time. His run after the catch ability is second to none, and he’d outrace and squirt out of a lot of danger.

As long as Hue Jackson has been able to survive with one win, you would have to think he’d last pretty darn long in a zombie apocalypse. The Browns have been a bigger disaster than any zombie outbreak, so he would be well prepared to stay alive.

Couldn’t you see Richard Sherman learning stick fighting from Morgan?

Frank Gore would survive much longer than anyone else.

Ezekiel Elliott would be suspended from the zombie apocalypse and not be allowed to participate.

Aaron Rodgers would actually be better with a crossbow than Daryl is.

Clay Matthews and Carl would kill anyone who tries to cut their hair.

Cole Beasley would definitely pair up with Dwight.

Josh Gordon would hang out with Gregory, and they would both keep getting second chances.

Ndamukong Suh would be a stone cold killer without remorse. Carole would have many less regrets if she was influenced by him.

Josh McCown and C.J. Spiller would constantly go from community to community, and no one would really want them there, but they would keep moving on.

DeAngelo Williams had a Walking Dead themed wedding. So he is untouchable. 

Ryan Fitzpatrick would make bullets with Eugene. Heck, he went to Harvard.

Alex Smith would be like Father Gabriel. Eventually, you would learn to trust him.

DESTINED TO DIE

Eli Manning would be overcome by zombies pretty quickly, as he’s not mobile enough to get away from any size herd.

Cam Newton wouldn’t work too well with others. Couldn’t you see him ticking off Rick and getting left behind like Merle Dixon? If Cam lost any sort of battle, and Rick asked him what happened to get needed info, he’d just say “next question.” Then he’d sulk with a towel over his head and wouldn’t see any zombies coming for him.

Ray Lewis would quickly be overwhelmed by zombies while doing his silly old pregame dance.

Blake Bortles would try to toss some ammo to his partner, and he’d be intercepted.

Vontaze Burflict wouldn’t be able to follow the rules about killing the zombies and would be a quick casualty. You have to shoot or stab them in the head to kill them, he wouldn’t seem to get that and there’s no time to correct him about it. Besides, as we saw this week, a Bengal tiger, no matter how seemingly fierce, is no match for a pack of hungry zombies.

Negan would kill Ben McAdoo, because he was a Giants fan before the outbreak.

Andrew Luck would get bit on the shoulder, and would never return.

Tony Romo and Dan Marino would never make it to Terminus.

Odell Beckham Jr. would draw way too much attention to himself, and you know large herds of zombies are attracted to a lot of noise.

Danny Amendola and Jordan Reed would get injured trying to run from walkers.

Jay Cutler just is too damn unlikable, kind of like Shane. When is he gonna get killed off?

Negan would ask Mark Sanchez to hold Lucille, and he’d fumble her, thus sealing his fate.

Peyton Manning would keep making pizza for fellow survivors, and toss it to walkers so they have something else to eat. But eventually he would get killed for constantly for whistling the same damn song heard in a commercial a long time ago.

Kyle Shanahan would blow Rick’s entire plan just when it would all seem to work so well.