Rick Reilly is the punching bag of ESPN columnists, mostly because he’s cheesy. And because he got caught begging for credit on live TV. And because he loves one-liners. And so on. The latest Reilly piece, however, deserves to be viewed by the masses.

Craig Robinson wants you to sit back, relax, and stop bugging about Derrick Rose’s controversial absence in this year’s postseason. A timely point he makes, after last night’s Bulls/Heat buckwild Game 3 — everybody’s gotta just chill out about basketball stuff.

Going over your data allotment on your phone plan sucks, because money ain’t cheap nowadays. Corporate behemoth ESPN feels your pain, sports fan with cell phone, and wants to give you a hand so you can keep watching more and more and more ESPN.

We may not be the biggest Stephen A. Smith fans in the world (does he have fans? would this help them?), but we may in fact be the biggest fans of ESPN commercials. They are consistently fantastic. And for all of Stephen A. Smith’s flaws, he may in fact be a good actor. In fact, the fact may in fact be that he is a legendary actor trolling us all. I subscribe to this belief, halfheartedly.

They’re shelling out straight $$$$$, and gettin’ straight talent. The deets, after the jump.

Well, this is awkward.

Ever watch Mel Kiper Jr. and wonder how he gets through a normal day without an intense on-air confrontation? Ever want to touch his hair, just to see what it’s like? Ahem, me neither. Some vintage Kiper hating clips after the jump.

ESPN aired a short film last night on JaMarcus Russell, the former Sugar Bowl MVP, turned overall number one draft pick, turned purple drank addict, turned fat man trying for a comeback. ESPN’s “JaMarcus Russell, Waking Up” tracks his progress so far.