Nick Saban has recruited a baby: we’re wondering what took him so long. Wait, that may not be totally accurate.

Celebrity isn’t always fun. Sometimes it’s really really really really fun! So why does J-Football want to get the hell out of Texas A&M? Here are the six best theories our in-house social scientists could come up with.

Yeah, he’ll totally sign with them. (He’s really, really good.)

As a follow up to acting in an all-American country music video, Johnny Manziel appeared on stage with country singer Wade Bowen in College Station, Texas.

Two and a Half Men reruns on repeat, for this clown.

The man who poisoned the Toomer’s Corner oaks on Auburn’s campus, Harvey Updyke, was just released from jail sporting the early favorite for mustache of the year.

Johnny Football roundhouse kicks the “Man” into “Manziel”. He’s a natural actor too. Just watch how he assumes the role of “guy who has hot chicks constantly in his truck”. FACT: Johnny Football’s Silverado sees more action than a Michael Bay marathon.

Lots of garbage cans were entered from far distances.

He didn’t mean anything by it, the toilet was just the closet thing to him.