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ComedyOlympic Sports

NPR Report Names Olympic Swimmer Ryan Lochte As The Ultimate Bro


NPR’s Code Switch — a blog that focuses on race, culture, and ethnicity — decided to delve into the world of bro-iness. The article begins by asking questions as old as time, such as: is bro-iness raced? Are bros just fratty white guys? Does a bro have to be straight? What’s the difference between a bro and a bruh?

But eventually, they settled on a more important question: what aspects define being a bro? And they came up with four answers: jockishness, dudeliness, preppiness, and stonerishness. These are all traits of the classic bro’s bro, and it only made sense that NPR should formulate a four-circle venn diagram with the ultimate bro in the middle.

And who is the ultimate bro, you ask? United States Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, of course. It makes perfect sense. Jockishness goes without saying considering that he’s a gold medalist. NPR defines dudeliness as “a measure of homosociality, a fancy gender studies term for what folks often cal bromances.” And Lochte is a male swimmer that spends most of his time in pools with barely-clothed men, so he fits the bill there.

Preppiness, according to the NPR article, means “conservatively casual,” or when dressing formal wearing a nice suit that doesn’t make it look like you put in too much effort.

Look at him. Simple black suit. Simple black skinny tie. Simple white button-down shirt. He looks great but he isn’t trying too hard to look great. That’s the bro-like preppiness that NPR was talking about.

Lastly, we have stonerishness. And for Lochte, that essentially goes without saying. He has that “surfer vibe” that NPR mentions and if you’ve ever seen any of his interviews, you know that he’s perfect for this one.

And that’s why Ryan Lochte is the ultimate bro. I think we knew it all along, but nobody was going to say it until an official study was done to prove it. Check out the chart below:

Before I leave you, let’s note who NPR picked as the face of jockishness: the one and only Tim Tebow. Not LeBron James or Tom Brady or the hundreds of athletes out there today that are actually successful in their respective sport, but Tim Tebow. NPR even defines jockishness as “physical prowess” in sports and the ability to juggle athletics and partying. Tim Tebow fits neither part of that definition.

Regardless, this is an interesting look into the world of bro-iness and how it relates to sports.

[h/t @inLaurasWords]


  • Anonymous

    And to think people donate money to NPR. This is what they get for their buck.

  • Adam

    I donate to NPR and I feel like this was worth the money


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