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ComedyESPN

ESPN Cancels Ron Burgundy’s SportsCenter Appearance Because They Can’t Resist A Juicy Sex Scandal


This is America. When someone is accused of something, we have a process we use to determine if, in fact, a crime was committed — and who was responsible. Accusations are merely the first step in determining someone’s guilt. Anyone can accuse anyone of anything, really, but it obviously doesn’t make it true (and it certainly doesn’t make it news). In fact, people accuse the President of being all sorts of things that he definitively isn’t (though that doesn’t stop Fox News from asking, on air, if he’s a practicing Muslim).

No one is safe from accusations, which is why they aren’t necessarily newsworthy. Not to say that sexual battery isn’t a huge, systemic problem — sports’ machismo culture breeds entitlement and misogyny. It’s just not something that needs to dominate sports news every time an accusation is made.

Enter ESPN: The worldwide leader in stretching out salacious stories without a shred of undeniable proof they’re true. We’re talking about the Jameis Winston situation. The Florida State quarterback was accused by a woman of sexual battery (which Winston has denied) and authorities are sorting through the evidence. Today, during the time period when we should be watching Ron Burgundy cracks jokes on SportsCenter, we’ll instead be watching a press conference regarding whether or not Winston will be charged (though preliminary reports suggest he will not). This story has dominated the sports media landscape for more than a week now, and everything about it has been unsubstantiated innuendo.

And now we’re missing out on an opportunity to laugh and be entertained by Will Ferrell’s Anchorman character (something we typically enjoy about watching sports). Thanks. Relatively few of us are Florida State fans, yet all of us are Ron Burgundy fans. Glad you’ve swapped the two in your programming schedule because of some juicy rumor you’ve been fixated on.

Somewhere, at some point in time, ESPN became Nancy Grace. Stick to entertaining us, guys. That’s why we watch sports/your channel in the first place. Leave the ambulance chasing to HLN.

Here’s a Change.org petition to get a rescheduled appearance for Ron Burgundy and Champ Kind on SportsCenter. Feel free to sign-up.


  • Seahawk

    Well in all fairness if he is charged he is suspended, thus ending FSU’s hopes for a national championship and his almost certain Heismann trophy. So there’s that….

  • Anonymous

    Plus, if he was charged, it would probably be a good idea to not have a comedian there to “cover” the story.

  • Seahawk

    Agreed. Not exactly light subject matter.


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