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Screw You If Your Computer Drafted For You

by SportsGrid Store | 12:04 pm, October 8th, 2012

We don’t want to bore you with the dry minutiae of our SportsGrid Fantasy League results, so we’re going to tell you through a different medium: funny moving pictures.

Fantasy football is everywhere, you guys. It is inescapable.

If you read, watch, listen to, argue about, listen to arguments about, or argue about arguments you’ve seen/read/heard about sports, then fantasy football is all around you.

And because of the regular Thursday games, the emotions start early. As early as Wednesday in fact, when Max noticed that Dylan’s starting lineup contained two hurt wide receivers, another wide receiver on a bye, and Detroit’s D on a bye.

Of course, this is just Wednesday. But as the week advanced, and Sunday got closer and closer, and Dylan didn’t make any trades, and didn’t make any adjustments, things just kind of started to snowball, and the anticipation just. kept. building:

Now look. Dylan’s no dummy. He just got stuck in a bad situation. Sometimes, when you’re drafting, it can be easy to ignore the bye weeks next to every player’s name, and that can lead to weeks like the one Hank just had. It was probably Tuesday when Hank realized that, instead of Vincent Jackson and Megatron out wide, the arrival of the bye weeks left him with options of Denarius Moore, and…Denarius Moore. And, at number nine on the waiver wire order and with the likes of Jordan Norwood and Alshon Jeffery available as replacements, by Friday afternoon he was looking like this:

Those two oversights resulted in easy wins for Max and Keith, but the rest of the Fontasie was filled with squeakers! We’re talking tenths of points deciding weeks here:

Matt snuck past Evan, and Jen nipped Dan by a whopping 1.4 points.

Those kinds of losses hurt. They really do. But sometimes, even winning those games doesn’t do much for you. Like when you’re Matt, and you have Chris Johnson is on your roster (and not because someone has already cut him in disgust). Then, win or lose, pretty much everything that happens at this point of the season feels a bit like this:

But enough with the negativity and the schadenfreude (for this week). Some of us (okay, Sean) got to watch their rosters deliver beatdowns. That motherfu -er, colleague – is now 4-1. All is light for him. He lives in a land of milk and honey. This is what his commute looks like!

This is how the morning news team greets him when he turns on the TV in the morning!

And you know what?

THE COMPUTER DRAFTED FOR HIM.

He had to be somewhere (OR WHATEVER), so this awesome squad he’s sitting on (LIKE A GODDAMNED THRONE) isn’t even comprised of his own selections. But every week he beats us down, and he laughs and laughs and laughs. Everybody has somebody in one of their leagues like this, and there is a wide spectrum of ways those folks can comport themselves. Sean, thus far, has decided to play it like this: