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What’s On TV This Weekend, And How Not To Lose Your Money Gamblin’

Welcome to SportsGrid’s daily feature, where we tell you what sports are on TV. Then, I do my best to help you win some money while watching. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing, and gambling is legal in your jurisdiction. Feel free to tweet hateful things at me if my advice moves you to do so. TV games are often the toughest games to find an edge on, so don’t go crazy, people. If I do recommend a bet, I’ll keep track of it, so you can tell me how awful (or wonderful?) I am. For record-keeping, we’ll assume a standard bet is $10. Occasionally, there will be 2x or 3x bets, maybe 4 or 5 if I’m feeling spunky. Good luck, America!
FRIDAY
NBA: Clippers at Heat (-3) (8:00 p.m., ESPN)
This is basically the only thing on TV tonight, but all of you cool jock sports fans are out drinkin’ and philanderin’ anyway, right? Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and Jamal Crawford will play; Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh and Ray Allen may not. If you’re home, just watch and enjoy good basketball. Spend that $10 on a nice six-pack.
PASS, YOU CRAZY DEGENERATE
Bonus Bet! NHL: Anaheim ML -114, $10 to win $8.77
SATURDAY
College Basketball: Michigan (-1) at Wisconsin (12:00 p.m., ESPN)
I feel like an ass for telling you to bet on Michigan as I sit in my Ann Arbor apartment wearing my Michigan shorts staring at my Russian doll of Denard Robinson, where he is a chubby white guy (yes, that’s a real thing).
But I actually think they’re a good bet. Michigan is obviously the better team, and though Wisconsin is tough at home, they’re not unbeatable and Michigan would be a heavy favorite on a neutral court. Assembly Hall was too much for Michigan, but Wisconsin isn’t as tough, and the Michigan freshmen will be more prepared after going through hell in Indiana.
Michigan -1, $20 to win $18.18
College Basketball: Kansas (-3) at Oklahoma (4:00 p.m., ESPN)
This spread would be much higher than three if Kansas hadn’t been shocked by Oklahoma State and stunned by TCU. They’ll obviously be desperate here. People are quick to write the Jayhawks off, but c’mon, Bill Self is a great coach, and this team is one of the most talented in the country.
Kansas (-3), $20 to win $18.18
College Basketball: Louisville (-5.5) at Notre Dame (9:00 p.m., ESPN)
This spread isn’t big enough. Notre Dame has been exposed recently, after people strangely thought they were a good team, rather than a good offense. And considering Louisville can shut down anyone, they shouldn’t have much trouble, even on the road. But big road favorites are tough bets. Don’t go crazy.
Louisville -5.5, $5 to win $4.55
Bonus Bet! Saturday College Basketball: Michigan State -2.5, $20 to win $18.18
SUNDAY
What else is on: College Basketball: Indiana at Ohio State (1:00 p.m., CBS) NBA: Clippers at Knicks (1:00 p.m., ABC), Lakers at Heat (3:30 p.m., ABC) and San Antonio at Brooklyn (8:00 p.m., ESPN), NHL: Los Angeles at Detroit (12:30 p.m., NBC) and New Jersey at Pittsburgh (7:30 p.m., NBCSN)
Record in games actually worth risking money on: 19-9 (+$95.64)
Lines taken from 5dimes.eu (with reduced juice) and betonline.ag
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