Take this guy, please. No idea what kind of job he has, but based on his pants and the plastic keycard-looking thing attached to his belt, it probably doesn’t involve putting. Yet he can (ostensibly) still find ways to do his work while getting the rush of sinking a big shot.

Tiger Woods: bad person. Tiger Woods: not a bad person. The debate rages on.

It’s especially sad that nobody was surprised.

Sergio accuses Tiger of distracting him. Tiger accuses Sergio of being a pussy. Neither of them are in the lead at The Players Championship. Look on the brightside, fellas! At least he didn’t pull his wiener out like the guy behind homeplate at the Astros game.. Details after the jump.

If someone asks you if you’re a God, you say “yes”. Also, if you swing at a golf ball and miss, say it was a really hard practice swing.

So… let’s make fun of him!

We can’t pretend to have measured Tiger Woods’ blood alcohol content levels, but judging on photographs alone, he looked to be somewhere between “hammered” and “train wreck.”

Pat Mayo of RotoExperts previews The Players Championship, all while explaining McDonald’s, The Great Gatsby and the world.

*because it rolled down the cart path. Plus they don’t count the distance unless it’s on the green or fairway. Next time try and hit a bird that carries the ball directly into the cup.