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The London Olympics Will Feature A Record Number Of Free Condoms. Of Course They Will.

You’ve been hearing a lot about Olympian sex around here lately, from anonymous accounts of how much sex is had to a list of facts to know about how much sex is had. What it boils down to: there’s a lot of sex happening in Olympic Village, and with a lot of sex comes a lot of condoms – 100,000 condoms provided to athletes at the Beijing Olympics, to be exact.

The liberal rubber provision, however, never seems to be enough. This may be because athletes really are getting down and dirty at such incredibly prodigious rates, or because they take all the condoms as a joke just so the supply will run out (and people like us will then write “WHOA LOOK AT ALL THIS OLYMPIC-STYLE BANGIN’” posts as a result). Either way, what’s clear is that the condom supply tends to run out. So what solution did Olympic-condom-provider Durex devise? Simple, according to the Daily Mail: provide a whole damn mess of condoms:

In a sign of what the world’s fittest sportsmen and women get up to in the Olympic village, a record 150,000 free condoms – 15 for each competitor – have been made available to them.

So these are either going to be the sexiest Olympics yet, or the hardest yet at which to pull off the “take all the condoms” prank. And if they exhaust the supply – which would be impressive – Durex will just deliver more. We’d talk about the great perks of being an Olympian, but we know better. Dammit, these people deserve their free condoms. It’s not like most of them are getting much else. Except LAAAAAAAIIIIIIID WOOOOOOOOO [pelvic thrust] [pelvic thrust] HOO HOO HOO HOO [fist pump] [pelvic thrust]

Getty photo, via

  • Anonymous


  • Chachaheels

    fornication is a sin

  • Savedbygrace

    Amen!!   God’s judgement is coming soon!

  • Carlton West

    How about mouthwash, vaseline, & wet-wipes? Might as well go the whole hog.

  • Anonymous

    I can only speak form personal experience going back to my college days in the 70s. I was more relaxes and focused on moving and passing the soccer ball the day after getting some. It’s a myth that you’re tired after having sex. It’s just the opposite;  you’re more focused and energized.

  • Anonymous

    What about the SAME day?
    And are you M or F?

  • Ryan666

    Look at the god-virgins in here thinking sex is so awful. Hilarious.

  • Savedbygrace

    FYI, my wife and myself  lost our virginity several years ago.  We really enjoy sex!  Sex is not awful.  God invented sex between a man and a women in a marriage.  Hebrews chapter 13
    4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

    What’s really awful is sleeping w/ random partners and risking catching a vd or worse, AIDS.  I’m sure they’re cheating on a “loved” one back home.  What’s really hilarious is that you still serve a defeated master w/ the triple 6.

  • Erikap

     …or within a few hours…dang!  I mean, I know it is going on…well, at least there are plenty of condoms to go around!!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, that’s really hilarious.
    Your judgmental wrath, that is.

  • Savedbygrace

    It’s not my judgment, but God Almighty’s judgment.
      “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.” Mark 7:20-22

  • Anonymous

    Interesting strategy: by disagreeing with you, I’m forced to do the unthinkable, and deny the infallability of Scripture.
    Okay, I deny it.
    Now what?

    How about “Live and let live”?

    Btw, I loved being preached at by amateur moralists.
    It’s not as if your interpretation of the cited verse is close to being accurate.

  • Savedygrace

    So be it!  You have been warned.  You reap what you sow.  My work is done here. 

  • Anonymous

    Reap this!

  • Alicia

    If you are going to follow God’s orders then you might as well follow the whole bible. I say we through stones at those who don’t

    1. People who have flat noses, or are blind or lame, cannot go to an altar of God~Leviticus 21:17-18

    2. Anyone who dreams or prophesizes anything that is against God, or anyone who tries to turn you from God, is to be put to death~Deuteronomy 13:5 (The funny thing about this is that it goes against one of the ten commandments…”thou shalt not kill”)

    3. If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives~Deuteronomy 22:28-29

    4. The eating of fat is prohibited forever~Leviticus 3:17

    5. If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives~Deuteronomy 22:28-29

  • Anonymous

    But fun

  • Anonymous

    Aaaaannnnnnnyyyyyyyy day now

  • Anonymous

    You do hogs?  Squeal like a pig, boy….

  • Anonymous

    defeated master? triple 6? Bwaaaahhhhhh.  DON’T JUDGE about them having someone back home.  Actually, most olympians arent in relationships- between work, training and travel- not much time. 

  • Anonymous

    God is dead.

  • Anonymous

    AMEN sister!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Should you even be reading articles that talk about fornication and sin?  Bet you read it because you were titillated

  • Anonymous

    Thats not what they are worried about coming out of a person when they give them condoms

  • Curling4tw

    hahaha this is Gold,
    SavedbyGrace does god talk to you? because if you are hearing voices it is called schizophrenia. and by the way if god is real why doesn’t he just make himself visible in the sky to end the argument once and for all?

  • Blahblahblah

    Make Himself visible?  That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard and the millionth time I’ve heard it.  Are you alive right now?  Well, if you answered yes, it’s cuz you’re breathing that invisible stuff….oh what’s it called?  Oh yeah, oxygen.  Do you listen to the radio or watch TV?  Well, if you answered yes, it’s cuz of that invisible stuff….um, oh yeah, radio waves and satellite technology – BOTH INVISIBLE.  God is invisible cuz He hopes that idiots like you will never find Him.

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