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Al Qaeda Member Says LeBron Is “A Very Bad Man,” By Way Of Guantánamo Bay Letter

Muhammed Rahim — a former bin Laden translator imprisoned at Guantánamo Bay — is a very bad man. A very bad man who believes in justice.

He wrote his attorney to complain that one of his fellow prisoners got a pet cat for cooperating. He cooperated too, so where’s his pet cat? What cooperating guy-who-worked-with-a-terrorist doesn’t deserve a fluffy friend to keep him company? It’s only fair!

As upset as Rahim was about the no-cat decision, though, he also just couldn’t help but weigh in on the injustice of a different decision: LeBron’s The Decision. When you’re imprisoned, mulling over where you’ve gone wrong in life, you obviously think of repentance and apology. People need to be accountable for their mistakes. And obviously, the most pressing apology that needs to be made is by LeBron James, right? I mean, nothing else comes to mind.

In a declassified letter (date uncertain), Rahim tells his Akron, Ohio, native attorney that he’s pissed about NBA star LeBron James’s callous departure to Miami. “Dear Mr. Warner!” Rahim wrote. “Lebron James is very bad man. He should apologise to the city of Cleveland.”

James did apologize to Cleveland in May 2011. Rahim operates by an awfully bizarre code of conduct.

Apparently, they don’t get Twitter in Guantanamo. If they did, Rahim would know that the aforementioned LeBron apology had already taken place. He’d also know that (some) people have started to forget about the whole Decision thing, and are moving forward with their lives. He’d also know that there’s a new clubhouse leader for misplaced basketball hatred, and that any future “bad man” letters should be directed towards a very tall man who just got traded to the Lakers.

[h/t Andrew Kaczynski]

  • http://www.madcharles.com/ MadCharles

    Somebody needs to get this guy a computer with an internet connection so he could be current. LeBron did Cleveland the American way. He gave them seven years then went after himself. His decision was appalling for sport fans took American hits then won. Scoreboard. It’s not something you can learn living in a friggin cave all your life.

  • Anonymous

    You know what the most important part of this “news” is?

    (date uncertain)

    Let’s pretend for a second that this is just some random guy. Forget that he, in reality, is locked in an off-shore prison with little to no connection to actual news, let alone sports news.
    If you do not know when the letter was written, regardless of who wrote it, it’s pretty hard to make any kind of legitimate crticism about what he should, or even could, have known when it was written. Maybe it was written the day of “The Decision”, maybe it was written before May when LeBron apologized, there is no way for him to know.
    Beyond that… Who cares what this guy has to say? I mean, really, who cares?

  • Anonymous

    Even terrorists recognize that Lebron is a “Bad Man!” And now he’s got an olympic gold medal and an NBA championship to boot!

  • http://www.norbitpeters.blogspot.com/ Norbit Peters

    ” What cooperating guy-who-worked-with-a-terrorist doesn’t deserve a fluffy friend to keep him company?” – It’s not a “friend”, it’s a WIFE!

  • http://profiles.google.com/rparshooter Ron Doherty

    Who cares??? This site gets tedious sometimes…

  • Anonymous

    What are you doing here?

  • mzilla

    Obviously s/he is a follower of this site and can come up with constructive criticism for a site s/he follows. Point is, if they’re digging for bottom of the barrel news to fill headlines, they’re going to get called out on it. Quit being a pussy.

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