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In Which We Admire Alexi Lalas And Michael Ballack, Mortal Enemies

Besides the mesmerizing voice of Bob Ley, Euro 2012 has been dominated by a more intriguing subplot – the Alexi Lalas/Michael Ballack relationship. Both have been serving as analysts for ESPN’s pre and post-game show covering the day’s matches. Ballack, clearly, was hired for his renown more than anything – it’s Lalas that usually provides the more penetrating commentary. Not that he offers up anything of real value, but his superiority is obvious.

There is, however, one thing that Ballack and Lalas have taught us: they hate each other. With each successive segment, the palpable tension grows, and Michael Ballack’s refusal to utter sentences longer than six words only ramps up the drama. I’ve been waiting for Ballack to dive across the desk and tackle Lalas, but it hasn’t happened quite yet. Anyway, we now bring you the best tweets concerning this theater, via Awful Announcing:

@MenInBlazers Dear ESPN Suggestion Box: If you are looking to kill time during rainbreak, please arm @AlexiLalas and Michael Ballack with Nerf Blasters

@jarrettgreen I share Michael Ballack’s obvious disdain for Alexi Lalas. #fb

@SherwoodStrauss Best part of Euro Cup: Michael Ballack & Alexi Lalas hate each other

@timtheredmenace At this point, we’re all just waiting for Michael Ballack to punch Alexi Lalas in the face.

@RobDauster Every interaction between Alexi Lalas and Michael Ballack is unbearably awkward. I can’t even watch it.

@MartySwag14 I don’t think Alexi Lalas and Ballack have agreed on one thing this whole euro

‏@SchnixB04 I would give my left nut to see Ballack grab Lalas’ necktie and slam his head into the desk. #doitdoitdoitdoit

@O87Minutes Lalas/Ballack = Zack Morris/AC Slater

@gabezal I keep expecting for Michael Ballack to say, “I must Break You,” and then punch Alexi Lalas in the nose. Keeps me watching.

‏@SherwoodStrauss I watch for the chance that Ballack kicks Lalas under the table, really hard

‏@RWhittall Alexi Lalas HATES Michael Ballack. They will both be dead by the end of this tournament.

@keeneTV @liverpooldeep watching Alexi Lalas and Michael Ballack on ESPN is more painful, although their hatred of each other is mildly amusing

@JoshCJ_ Michael Ballack looks at Alexi Lalas like he’s an idiot. And he’s right. #euro2012

@joshkulak It’s fun to watch Michael Ballack smirk when Alexi Lalas starts bragging about himself

@HesGotTheData I could cut the tension between Michael Ballack and Alexi Lalas with a warm stick of butter. #awkward @espn

@dcastanheira30 Michael Ballack wants to punch Alexi Lalas in the face

@TKKincanon If I was Michael Ballack, I’d punch Alexi Lalas in the face.

@edsbs Would really love it if Michael Ballack just responded to a question by walking over to a piano and playing a moving concerto.

A nerf blaster battle sounds like a great idea.

[Awful Announcing]