Media MonsterWeird But True

College Soccer Player Arrested For Hiding Hash Browns In Pants, Being Awesome

Oh, Carli Shultis. I know what it’s like: you stay up all night drinking working on your studies, during a period in your life when it’s totally acceptable to wear pajamas in public and eat cereal directly from the box, and suddenly it seems like a great idea to jump into the fountain on the campus’s south mall steal an order of hash browns from the Bulldog Café, by hiding them in your pants. Yes, it’s true: Shultis, a sophomore soccer player at the University of Georgia, was caught putting an order of hash browns in her pants in order to avoid the $1.06 cost.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has more details on her arrest:

“According to UGA police records, Carli Shultis, 19, was arrested around 8:30 a.m. Feb. 21 at the Bulldog Cafe in the Tate Center on campus…The police report also stated that Shultis removed the hashbrowns from her pants and tried to put them back on the food counter when she realized she’d been spotted.”

Oh, that is even worse – just pay for the pantsed hash browns at that point! I’m sure there were a number of contributing factors here — stress, lack of sleep, the need to steal something small, just to feel again — but attempting to put the potatoes back is actually criminal.

As for punishment, Shultis received “a one-year ban from campus eateries — The Bulldog Café, Tate Café, Taste of Home Café, Red Clay Café, Dawg Snacks, Village Market, DogBone, Bone Appétit, The Cremery, ‘Tween the Pages, Dawg Bites and Jittery Joes.” At least for the next year, her fellow UGA students can continue to dine at the university’s various bulldog-themed establishments free from any fear of accidentally eating food that has been inside Carli Shultis’s pants for any amount of time.