- BREAKING: Swimsuit Model Nina Adgal Is Pretty Good At Basketball
- Insults From An Idiot: CNBC's Sports Betting Scam Artist 'Steve Stevens' Won't Stop Sending Us Hilarious And Incoherent Emails
- Roger Federer Could Miss The French Open Due To Paternity Leave
- How To Use 10 Different Machines Without Working Anything Other Than Your Biceps
- Notre Dame's Everett Golson Excited To Return After 2013 Suspension
Chris Berman’s Barack Obama Interview Will Make You Relieved The Campaign Is Over
This is (thankfully) the end. Today,
the American people decide the Electoral College decides in line with state-by-state voting results who will be President of the United States over the next four years. It’s a big decision, and there will probably be some tense moments later tonight as votes are tallied and various swing states are called for either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney, but right now, I’m feeling… relief.
Why am I feeling relief? Because this goddamn campaign is finally over. No longer can the horse race – or at least this one in particular – overwhelm every news cycle. No longer will the same recycled talking points be driven into the ground. No longer can there be an argument over whether Nate Silver’s number-crunching is edifying or makes him a total gay nerd.
Because today, there will be actual votes. Unless an angry God hates us all and a repeat of the interminable wait of 2000 winds up happening, there will be a result. “I just need new characters,” a friend said to me last night about the elections, and if the way we follow politics is now so cynical that all we see these people as being good for are as actors in a big play that’s put on more for our entertainment than for governing the country, well, yeah, at least there’ll be a new script playing out in front of us soon.
And hardly anything could make one think this act has run its course more than the presidential candidates’ final interviews last night. With Chris Berman. They aired at halftime of Monday Night Football. This campaign went on for a long time – it just would not go away. It was expensive as hell. And it was loud, all over our televisions so that we could hardly escape the din. What I’m saying is: maybe Berman was the perfect guy to bring this all to a close. What’s the difference between a sports TV blowhard and a political TV blowhard anyway? Here he is with the current POTUS:
oh great yes college football playoff talk and an awkwardly-made joke about keeping promises that didn’t even sound like a joke the way he delivered it and sports metaphors and MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOPPPPPPPPPPP
…Soon, it all will. And that’s why I’m relieved.
- Kobe Bryant Not Interested in Playing for Mike D'Antoni Next Season
- Aaron Hernandez's Jailhouse Attack Victim Released
- UFC 170 Salaries Revealed
- Jessie James and NFL Star in Provocative Shoot