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Chris Webber’s X’s And O’s Telestrator Breakdown Of A Guy Who Won’t Give A Girl Ice Cream Is Fantastic


On some level, we get it: mint chocolate chip. Hard to let go of that puppy, girlfriend or not. But she is pissed, forced to just sit there, staring at that melty behemoth. When she makes her initial approach with the tiny, tiny, spoon, she gets the old cone sidestep. Not in this bro’s house, lady. But c’mon, ice cream bro. Look at that spoon! It’s miniature. The most she can scoop is .08% of your ice cream. You gotta share, if only not to incur girl(friend) wrath.

Still, this brief video segment during the Pacers-Magic game on NBA TV last night would not have been the same without Chris Webber wielding the telestrator. And he didn’t even draw a dong! Expert skill. In the below video he gives you the play-by-play breakdown, diagramming the various eye twitches and emotional inflection points. The second freeze frame, round two of the post-scoop rejection face, is particularly enlightening. She isn’t even pissed, anymore; she’s shocked. And she stares, wide-eyed and wide-mouthed, until he finally cedes ground. Though without looking, mind you – tilting the cone just so and keeping his attention on the game while she claims her prize.

Thank you, Chris.



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