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Dennis Rodman Met His Father, And It Led To The Greatest Sentence Ever Written

Dennis Rodman recently met up with his father, Philander* (seriously: Philander) for the first time in 42 years. While it doesn’t sound like it was an especially dramatic, tear-jerking reunion, it was a reunion, and given that Dennis has, to say the least, had some fathering difficulties of his own (he lamented not being a better dad in his emotional Hall of Fame speech), it was still a nice moment.

It’s just not what we’re here to talk to you about. No, we’re here to talk about a factoid buried deep in that story linked above, a fact about what Rodman the Elder is doing with himself in the Philippines, where he’s lived for the better part of five decades. Let the brilliance wash over you:

The 71-year-old Vietnam War veteran now operates the Rodman’s Rainbow Obamaburger restaurant in northern Angeles City.

Let’s take a few choice words from that sentence and present them to you again, in blown-up font size to really get the point across:

Rodman’s Rainbow Obamaburger restaurant.

“Is it real?” you wonder. Well, this site (which, we guess, is Philander’s personal site or something?) lists the name of the restaurant as simply “Rodman’s Rainbow Burgers.” Still good, but it doesn’t quite possess the batshit magic achieved by throwing “Obama” in there.

The good news: apparently, something’s changed since that site was last updated – which was in approximately 1997, from the looks of it – and now Rodman’s Rainbow Obamaburger (we could type that forever) is real. And rainbow-y, if not particularly Obama-like. And according to this guy, they’re actually pretty good. Not that the quality of the burger even really matters to us – the quality of the name is more than enough.

We woke up this morning having no idea there was a place called Rodman’s Rainbow Obamaburgers. Now? We can’t imagine life that knowledge. Maybe you learn something new every day… but some days are better than others.

*For those of you wondering if Philander lived up to his name: he fathered 29 children by 16 women, so, just a little bit.