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This Paragraph Written About Dexter Pittman Is The Saddest Paragraph Ever Written About A Professional Athlete

  • Dylan Murphy

The NBA trade deadline passed earlier today at 3:00 p.m., and Miami’s Dexter Pittman was shipped off to Memphis for the rights to a Puerto Rican center by the name of Ricky Sanchez. Pittman’s been designated to the D-League multiple time this season, and he’s more known for clotheslining Indiana’s Lance Stephenson than his basketball skills.

Miami, it seems, dumped Pittman to open up a roster spot. As for who they’ll sign, that remains to be seen. Because by all indications, Dexter Pittman, well, he sucks at basketball. Take what ESPN’s Kevin Pelton wrote about him, scraping for any bits of compliment:

“Pittman hasn’t been very effective in his limited NBA playing time — he’s not a good enough post scorer to justify getting the ball, though that’s the strength of his game — but he is a big body.”

Well! Big body. You can’t teach that. Something like that, right?

But the South Florida Sun-Sentinel easily earns first place in the division of heartless indifference, not even venturing near anything remotely complimentary; they stuck with the sad, sad news, even disemboweled Pittman’s self-esteem right there in the lede:

“Because the Heat were required to take something back in the Pittman deal, they acquired the draft rights to 25-year-old Puerto Rican center Ricky Sanchez, who is playing in Argentina and is not expected to play in the NBA. He will count neither toward the Heat’s salary cap nor their 15-player roster limit.”

Now, it’s not unheard of for NBA teams to dump players for little to no return; the New York Knicks only received a future 2nd round draft pick from Oklahoma City in exchange for Ronnie Brewer, which is almost as nebulous as “cash considerations” or “Ricky Sanchez.”

Still: Miami and its local newspaper award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

[South Florida Sun-Sentinel]

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