- To Be Fair, 31 NFL Teams Probably Agree With Tony Dungy's Take On Michael Sam
- New And Rumored NBA Uniforms For The 2014-15 Season
- Does FIFA Have The Balls To Revoke Russia's 2018 World Cup And Give It To A More Deserving Host?
- NFL Rookies Predict/React To Their Madden 15 Ratings
- Georgia's Todd Gurley Gunning For 2,000 Yards This Season
ESPN Wants To Ruin Your Weekend, Expands First Take To Saturday
We wouldn’t kid about these things because we care about you. Apparently five days of ESPN’s First Take just isn’t quite enough, so the show will be expanding to six days a week with the inclusion of Saturdays (8:00 a.m. – 10:00 a.m.). Rob Parker will be the primary debater, with Cari Champion hosting and a slew of to-be-named-later co-hosts yapping their holier-than-thou heads off.
The projected start date for this abomination is December 8th, which also happens to be my birthday, which also happens to be a horribly unfortunate coincidence.
He also apparently tweeted the news, though the tweet appears to now be deleted.
“@robparkerespn: Starting Dec 8th,a trial run of First Take on Saturday morningNo Skip or Stephen A, I will be there.” Terrible idea
— Ryan Helin (@Ryanhelin) November 27, 2012
He did, however, send this second, boldfaced lie of a tweet:
We will debate fresh topics as normal with a host of other debaters you usually see. It’s just an expansion of the show you already luv.
— Rob Parker (@RobParkerESPN) November 27, 2012
As Awful Announcing also noted, most adults won’t be subjected to the useless drivel because Saturday mornings from 8:00 a.m. – 10:00 a.m. are filled with sleep and no First Take and sleep, so we suspect ESPN may be targeting small children. No more cartoons for you, fragile and uncorrupted minds of the future. You need to learn why advanced (not actually that advanced) baseball metric stats are MADE BY DEVIL NERDS.
At the very least, Stephen. A Smith and Skip Bayless have weekends off, so there’s that. Because everyone knows Stephen A. Smith can’t quite keep it clean all the time. It’s all about the children, right?
- Danica Patrick Says She's Sick of Being Sexy
- The 10 Biggest NBA Draft Busts Ever
- Larry Holmes told King He Can't Beat Tyson
- The Top 10 Hottest NFL Draft WAGs