Remember these names: Lindsay Czarniak (pronounced Sar-nee-ac), and Charissa Thompson. Because in a few months, they will rule your lives.
ESPN announced this week that it hired Czarniak after her contract with NBC 4 in Washington expired, and DC sports media observers saw this one coming for awhile. The network affiliate was deemed “too small to contain her” (oh, she’s already so Bristol), and we like her because she displays an uncanny ability to turn an on-air screwup into a self-deprecating joke, a vital skill in today’s assholish internet world.
Sidenote that isn’t really important but totally is: Czarniak is engaged to fellow reporter Craig Melvin, whom she worked with at NBC 4. So hands off, Buccigross.
ESPN also announced this week that it’s hiring Charissa Thompson, who has a solid resume that includes coverage of the NFL, college football, MLB and the NHL, and she’ll be hosting a SportsNation spinoff called Numbers Never Lie. It will air at 3:30 on ESPN2, will debut on September 12th, and will be the lead-in to Dan Le Batard’s sweaty new show. Her highlight tape can be seen here.
We can’t wait to see how Czarniak and Thompson do in Bristol, but more importantly, we can’t wait to hear about whose lunch table they decide to sit at on the first day of work: Michelle Beadle’s, or Erin Andrews’? Oh, the drama.