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From Dong Dong to Tsagaanbaatar Khashbaatar: The Most Fantastic Names Of The 2012 London Olympics

The Olympic Games attract the most elite athletic talent from all around the globe. Within this fascinating cultural hodgepodge lies fantastic foreign names. When Americans see names from other countries, even if they may be normal in their native lands, they will seem incredible to us Americans. Foreign things are funny, because we’re stupid and don’t understand them.

With that in mind, here are the greatest names of the Olympics, from an immature American’s point of view.

The amazingly-awesome alliteration.

Ilias Iliadis

Ilias Iliadis is the illest judoka aliiiiiiiveeee.

Ilya Ilyin

Kosuke Kitajima

Dong Dong
Dong is a very common surname in China. Dong² is the Smith Smith of China, but better.

Magomedrasul Medzhidov
21 letters of awesomeness.

The unpronounceable.

Abdelhafid Benchabla

Ksenia Afanasyeva
I DARE YOU TO MAKE A “KS” SOUND, AMERICA!

Pürevdorjiin Serdamba
Try it. YOU WON’T.

The awkward teammates.

Ryan Bailey

Ryan Bailey

The cocky.

Giba
Apparently being a really good Brazilian volleyballer allows you to have one name. I’ll keep this in mind for future lives.

Marta
Girls can be cocky too.

The cool.

Meb Keflezighi

The tongue-twisters.

Kai Qin

Maja WÅ‚oszczowska

Sajjad Anoushiravani

The super-duper weird.

Kobe Bryant

What kind of name is Kobe? LOLZ.

The naughty.

Yoshie Takeshita

EWWWWW.

Caster Semenya

Semen. Ya!

Kara Goucher

Yuck!

Ding Ning

Sounds naughty, I think.

The can can.

Ren Cancan

The ones that, when Americans pronounce them, are hilarious.

Ou Liu
Oyloo!

Lulu Zhou
Looloozhoo!

Li Xiaoxia
Lee Zhowzhah!

He Wenna

Qiu Bo
Cubo. It’s like the masculine version of Cuba.

The pornstar.

Destinee Hooker

The super-duper crazy coincidence.

Hannah England
This is like naming your daughter Jane America. She’d be Miss America at birth!

The absurdly-accented.

Barbora Špotáková

The one missing a comma.

Oh Jin-Hyek
Oh, Jin-Hyek, you were so close!

ZOMG.

Tsagaanbaatar Khashbaatar

Champion.

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