Exaggerated fishing stories are such a cliche that “fish story” is an actual colloquial term for an absurdly exaggerated story. And that’s what sets fisherman Jason Kresse of Freeport, Tx. apart – his crazy fish story is real.
That story: his fishing boat, which he and two other crew members were manning in an attempt to catch red snapper, caught something else in the process, completely by accident: a 375-pound mako shark. How does something like this happen? Pretty simply, from the sound of it:
Kresse…and two crew members had been fishing for red snapper about 50 miles into the Gulf of Mexico and were dumping fish guts into the water about 3:45 a.m. Monday when they heard two big splashes in the distance.
“All of a sudden something hit the side of the boat,” Kresse told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “He ends up landing on the back of the boat.”
The mako shark had apparently been in a rush to feed. It began thrashing around, and Kresse said he and his crew couldn’t get close to the 375-pound fish to toss it back in the water. It damaged the boat before dying several hours later.
Well…yeah, we’d hope he didn’t get close enough to try and toss a 375-pound shark back in the water. Plus, he had to think quickly and obtain a permit for catching sharks, since he and his crew didn’t have one when their boat received an unexpected visit. And on that note…doesn’t that seem unfair, to have to have that hanging over your head while you’re also dealing with, you know, a 375-pound shark unexpectedly jumping into your boat?
We suppose this all ended reasonably well for Kresse, though…the shark was forklifted (yes, forklifted) off the boat when it docked, it’s currently “on display at a seafood business in Freeport,” and Kresse gets a great fish story that, thanks to the following photo, is verifiable.
OH GOD GET IT AWAY OH JESUS OH JESUS THE EYES THE EYES THE EYYYYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSS