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IMPORTANT UPDATE: The New Pope Is Argentine Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Meaning Dennis Rodman’s Trip Was For Naught

The Catholic Church has a new leader: Argentina’s Jorge Mario Bergoglio. He will be known as Pope Francis I. His selection breaks some new ground:

#BREAKING: Pope Francis is first from South America usat.ly/XIGJ6b

— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) March 13, 2013

…and it comes as something of a surprise, given that he wasn’t among the top favorites for the position, at least according to bettling lines. And it means something else, too. Remember Dennis Rodman’s trip to Rome? Well, he was pimping a gimmicky gambling website called Paddy Power, and specifically, this gimmick: if a black pope were selected, bettors who put their money on a non-black Pope would get their money back. (Peter Turkson of Ghana was considered one of the most likely candidates.)

But Turkson wasn’t selected. And that means – believe us, it pains us to say it as much as it surely pains you to hear it – Dennis Rodman’s trip to Rome served essentially no purpose.

We’ll get through this together.