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Meet The Kid Who Claims Some Guy Pushed Him Off A Riding Lawnmower, Then Tebowed

There’s a lot going on here, and exactly how much of it is real will likely remain a mystery forever, so you’ll have to bear with us. All we can promise is that it’s an issue worth exploring. And – like we do for all the good in this world, really – we have a local news program to thank. The setting: Lawrence County, Pennsylvania. One kid, Josh Ehrenberg, on a riding lawnmower. One guy, unnamed, in his car. Following that, a tale of which we’ve only heard Ehrenberg’s side. But what a tale it is:

This is why we need local news. For reporting local stories – stories that affect many people, every day, on just about every level – that larger media outlets never would? Nonsense? No, it’s so we can keep getting chyrons like:

If you ever watched Doug, you might remember the one episode where he found a bunch of money in an envelope and had no idea where it came from. As it turned out, it belonged to some old lady, who – of course – discussed her plight on a local news program. The chyron descriptor below her name there? “Lost a ton of money.” And as you can see from the really, truly real one above, that wasn’t even an exaggeration of how these programs operate.

As for Ehrenberg’s account (and we’ll say right now, the kid looks like he actually got hurt, so let’s keep that in mind before we laugh too hard at all this), maybe it’s for the best that we’ll never see what actually happened. What if it’s not as insane as it sounds? What if things didn’t happen quite the way he says they did? The story would be ruined. In our minds, though, it lives forever. In our minds, the incident came complete with zany sound effects and a vaudeville tap dancer streaking across the scene when it was all over. In our minds, this was all exactly as insane as it sounds – and it’s probably better if it stays there.

[With Leather]

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