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Lonely ‘Bron: LeBron James Allegedly Asked Out An Olympic Swimmer, Was Allegedly Denied
Look how happy LeBron looks in that photo. It’s like he woke up on Hipster Christmas morning, ran downstairs, and found a bunch of tiny backpacks filled with Prince CDs and turquoise bow ties. That is pure nerd joy right there.
He probably had no idea a soul-crushing defeat would come soon after this photo was taken.
On a recent evening in London, the star-studded U.S.A. Basketball team toured the sex ranch for insanely fit twenty-somethings known as the Olympic Village. The basketball team, made up of globally recognizable NBA multimillionaires, is staying at a hotel away from the Village. This was their first opportunity to mingle with some of the other, less famous Olympians.
As you know, everyone gets laid at the Olympic Village. There is simply too much toned ass everywhere for the athletes not to take a dip in someone else’s similarly-gifted gene pool. Now, I have no idea what LeBron James’ intentions were when he sidled up to U.S. swimmer and Greenville, North Carolina native Lauren Perdue — he may have just been looking for a friend who wouldn’t take photos of him as he napped. Nevertheless, a request was made.
And that request was denied.
The biggest news Perdue has made at the Olympics, though, was when she sent out a tweet one night saying LeBron James had asked her to dinner and a picture of the two of them together.
I asked Perdue about it Wednesday. “The basketball players were nice enough to kind of come out and meet the swimmers and take pictures,” Perdue said, speaking of a recent evening when the basketball players toured the Olympic Village (they aren’t staying there — the swimmers are).
LeBron did take a liking to Perdue, though, who is a star swimmer at the University of Virginia. So did he really ask her to dinner?
“He did,” Perdue said. “He was kind of joking but he was basically like, ‘Would you like to come eat with me at the dining hall?’ And I said, ‘Um, I’m sorry, I have a curfew. So I turned that one down, yeah.”
This is a tough one, folks. There’s really no other way to classify it. One of our best athletes, fresh off his greatest victory, has suffered a potentially confidence-shattering setback.
LeBron, as Yahoo! points out, never went to college. This is worth noting, because he never got to eat at a dining hall with a pretty girl. Now, thanks to Lauren Perdue and her phantom “curfew,” he may never get that chance.
Cold blooded, Lauren Perdue. Cold. Blooded.
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