2012 Summer OlympicsMedia Monster

Olympic TV Guide: 5 Events You Should Watch Today

Don’t know what to watch at the London 2012 Olympics? Well, since there are dozens of events per day and NBC complicates things with its tape delays, things can get really confusing. Fortunately, we’re here to help, weed out the crap (*cough, equestrian*) and highlight the few events you should focus on (from a jingoistic American’s point of view, obviously). And we’ll tell you how/when you can watch them, because, again, NBC sucks.

(Note: All times listed are in EASTERN TIME. None of that London time rubbish. Sorry Big Ben Elizabeth Tower.)

The events are listed in order of MUST-WATCH-NESS, from DEFINITELY, to DEFINITELY MAYBE:

Men’s Handball, Denmark vs. Spain: 2:30 pm

Why should you watch?

Because handball is becoming the new “it” sport of the Games. You should watch it.

It’s like basketball + hockey + soccer. It’s sockeyball. Or sakeball, if you prefer the alcoholic’s spelling.

Why Denmark/Spain? Because this is a rematch of the 2012 European Championship semifinal, which Denmark won 25-24. And Denmark has the best player in the world: 6’4″ 205 lb. ball of MAN, Mikkel Hansen. His hair is awesome. He’s nicknamed “The Hammer.” And Spain’s out for revenge.

Seriously, this is the thing to watch today.

How to watch: Click here for the live stream, starting at 2:30pm.

This game will not be on TV. If you haven’t picked up on it yet, NBC sucks.

Men’s 200m Butterfly: 2:49pm

Why should you watch?

Because Michael Phelps is in it, doing what he does best (that’s swimming, not fornicating… although I could be wrong about that).

Phelps didn’t have the fastest time in the semifinal (that was Japan’s Matsuda Takeshi), but he won his heat and is the world-record holder. He’s also just two medals away from the Olympic record.

Ryan Lochte is not in the race, but another American, Tyler Clary, is. So Phelps haters have someone to root for without being Un-American.

How to watch: If you want to watch it live, it starts at 2:49pm. Click here for the strem.

If you’d like to watch it on TV, stay off the internet to avoid a spoiler. It will be the featured event on NBC’s primetime coverage, which starts at 8pm.

Women’s Soccer: USA vs. North Korea: 12:15 p.m.

Why should you watch?

Because Alex Morgan. Hope Solo. The United States destroying overmatched North Korea.

JUSTICE.

How to watch: Click here at 12:15 pm for the live stream.

It will also be broadcast LIVE on TV, but on NBC’s specialty Olympic Soccer channel, which you may or may not have.

Basketball: Argentina vs. France: 3:00 pm

Why should you watch?

Because basketball is probably your favorite sport, normally, that’s in the Olympics, and this is a nice scouting opportunity for fans of Team USA. The two teams most likely to scare the Americans are Spain and Argentina (ranked No. 2 and 3 in the world, respectively). The Argentinians just beat up on Lithuania, a solid team ranked No. 5 in the world. Sure, Argentina will be a heavy underdog against Team USA, but they’ll have a shot. Watch this and see how they stack up.

France kind of sucks, and lost to the U.S. by 27, but that can serve as your measuring stick.

Also, you’ll actually recognize people. Tony Parker, Luis Scola, Manu Ginobili and others will be playing.

How to watch: Click here at 3:00pm for the live stream.

It will also be broadcast LIVE on NBC Sports Network, also at 3:00pm.

Men’s Water Polo: USA vs. Romania: 2:40 pm

Why should you watch?

Because Water Polo is the most awesome team sport you’ve never given a chance. You might not understand the constant whistles at first, but you read SportsGrid: you’re smart; you’ll catch on quickly.

It’s physical. This dude Ryan Bailey on the US is 6’6″ 245 lbs. He “can shoot the ball at over 50 MPH and can bench press over 400 pounds.”

Team USA narrowly won its first match against Montenegro. A win over Romania, which pounded Great Britain, would be huge. The winner will leap to the top of Group B, and be in great position to place in the top four and advance to the knockout stage. Team USA has yet to play perennial water polo powerhouse Hungary, which actually has lost both of its first two matches.

How to watch: Click here at 2:40pm for the live stream.

It will also be broadcast LIVE at 2:40pm on NBC.

Watching strategy

Yes, I realize these events overlap. Here’s my recommended strategy.

12:15pm: Click on the USA women’s soccer live stream, or tune in to NBC’s Specialty Soccer channel. Watch North Korea cry for mercy.

2:30pm: Click on the Denmark/Spain men’s handball match live stream. Be enthralled.

2:49pm: Click on the men’s 200m butterfly live stream. Watch Michael Phelps. Try not to be too upset that you’re missing about two minutes of the handball match.

(Approx.) 2:51pm:Return to handball. If you’re near a TV, turn on NBC Sports Network for Argentina/France basketball or NBC for the USA Water Polo match. If you’re not, monitor the two matches. You now have three options, two of which are on TV. Watch two things on your computer if you must.

Again, basketball live stream. And water polo live stream.

Good luck, and GODSPEED.

Follow Matt Rudnitsky