Media Monster

Please God, Let Paraguay Win The World Cup

This is Paraguayan model/superfan Larissa Riquelme, and she has developed quite the cult following.

Oh, and there’s this: Riquelme has promised to paint herself naked and run through the streets if Paraguay wins the World Cup.

We’ve slept on Riquelme. When Deadspin first dubbed her “cell phone girl,” we thought, “Holy Moses, that’s a pretty girl.” But for whatever dumb reason (the USA’s string of heart-stopping finishes) we didn’t have time to give her her proper due.

Well, with news of her guarantee, and this photo slide show courtesy of HuffPost, we have no choice. SportsGrid readers need to know: if your favorite team has been knocked out of the world cup, cheer for Paraguay. If we get enough good karma going, I think we can make this happen.

So dear newborn Baby Jesus, lying there in your ghost manger, with your tuxedo t-shirt and eagle wings, let Paraguay win their quarterfinal match against Spain. And then two more after that.