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Ron Artest Told A Very Strange Story After The Dancing With The Stars Finale

We wrote about a fantastic series of tweets from Lakers forward Ron Artest Metta World Peace not long ago, so going to that well again so soon feels a little strange. But you will soon understand why we did – actually, more than that. You’ll understand why we had to.

World Peace, you’ll remember, was a Dancing with the Stars contestant recently – not a successful one, but a contestant nonetheless. And yesterday was the big finale, or something, and World Peace made his return. He documented it for us. Crazy times were had…though we’re almost positive most of them didn’t really happen. Almost. A small sampling of the brilliance:

Shout out To the DWTS cast. Colony was crazy yesterday. Me and Nancy had the best dance. Me and @PetaMurgatroyd danced also!! I also danced with the bartender, door lady and the cock tail waitress.. Then I danced with dasha. Then I went outside and… freak the female police officer and spanked her booty. Should put me in handcuffs and said relax World peace. I told the officer you can not tell world peace no and she agreed. She then took the hand cuffs off me and I continued to spank her

Somehow, it goes on and on, and gets even weirder in the process, with just as much creepy spanking, with some Nancy Grace and female firefighters to boot. Oh, and this:

I also saw David Happy feet stern and Billy soul glo hunter with the blazers open dancing together.#conspiracy!

We will never fathom the ways World Peace’s mind works. Only he has that privilege. All we can say is: if a result of the lockout is that his Twitter account gets weirder and weirder, then there’s at least one good thing to come of all this. And whenever this labor mess is finally settled, that last tweet better be how David Stern and Billy Hunter celebrate.

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