Athletes often do commercials for local businesses. Often, these commercials are terrible in the best possible way – we even did our part to immortalize a few of them right here. But as of this morning, thanks to the folks at Awful Advertisements, we now know of one cheesy commercial to rule them all.
The year was 1991. The establishment: Chicago-area sandwich shop Mr. Submarine. The pitchman: Chicago
Bulls basketball star Scottie Pippen and two prototypical-early-90s members of the Luvabulls dance team. The result: MAGIC.
See, when I said “magic,” you thought we just meant the commercial was going to be amazing. Well, it was, but I meant actual, literal magic: a basketball transforms into a sandwich! Do you think Scottie ever got worried after this ad that he had superhuman but uncontrollable powers to make a basketball turn into a sandwich that would one day surface at the worst possible time during a game? That would have been so embarrassing for him, it would have taken a huge party with tons of ladies and six-foot sandwiches to forget about it.
Chicago-area readers with long memories: was this the only Mr. Submarine ad Pippen ever filmed? A rudimentary YouTube search doesn’t turn up anything else, and need to know if I should just let my dreams of an ad with Scottie singing a terrible “Yellow Submarine” parody song die:
In the town where Pip plays ball
Stands a sandwich shop loved by Scottie
And he told us of his life
As a fan of Mr. Submarine
Don’t act like you don’t want to see it yourself.