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Slow-Mo Fire Tennis Is Incredibly Fun To Watch

Every sane person will admit that there are dumb Olympic sports. This year’s London Games has 32 events. The negligible ones each have their biased supporters, but let’s face it: we don’t need equestrian, synchronized swimming, rhythmic gymnastics, rowing AND canoe/kayaking. Even the boats will argue that having two boating sports is excessive.

Clearly, at least one sport should go. But what should replace it, you ask? The world’s newest, HOTTEST sport, made solely with spectators’ interests in mind: Slow Mo “Fire Tennis.” It’s as awesome as it sounds.

No, there are no leagues (yet). Yes, these may be the only two players in the world. But hey, if basketball was invented out of thin air, why can’t “Fire Tennis” achieve the same notoriety as James Naismith’s brainchild?

Andy Murray won the Gold in what will now have to be called Extinguished Tennis, but how would he fare in Slow Mo “Fire Tennis?” Well, it’s tough to say. He clearly lacked the moxie before this week’s dismantling of Roger Federer, but his bollocks have doubled since, and he may indeed be the favorite.

The sport doesn’t have rules and doesn’t really make sense a but hey, it’s safe! Masks! Gloves! And it’s exciting!

We could put all of the most-hated/polarizing celebrities on our Olympic squad, and watch the made-for-TV glory. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see Charlie Sheen, Tim Tebow, Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian play doubles for Olympic gold, slugging flaming tennis balls at one another, wincing like the British dude in the video?

That’s what I thought.

[BroBible]

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