Really, we don’t even know where to start. Literally – what you’re reading is not the first iteration of this post’s lede. This is a treasure trove of sophomoric humor. The story starts with a Sunday League footballer in Australia, Aaron Eccleston, getting hit in the groin. That’s good, right? You just had a childish chuckle at that thought, right? How it works on so many levels, and all that?
Well, get ready: that wasn’t even close to the weirdest part of this story. In a rather strikingly literal case of adding insult to injury, Eccleston was sent off the pitch soon after sustaining the groin shot…because apparently, the official spotted something untoward on Eccleston’s affected area: a piercing. Eccleston wouldn’t take it out, so he got taken out. An opposing player described the absurd scene:
“He got hit in the privates and I guess he was just checking to see everything was still OK down there – but then the ump’s spotted it.”
Maybe everything was OK from Eccleston’s point of view, but not the official’s. And for the record, the rulebook that applied to Eccleston’s match apparently contained nothing governing “more intimate piercings” (would you want to draft a rule like that?), so this story may contain a hint of injustice as well. What more could you want?
Proof that it’s real, perhaps. Fortunately, that exists too. Watch below and be secure in the knowledge that yes, this story is a real thing that occurred in the world.