Media Monster

Soccer Star’s Threesome, Reenacted With Taiwanese Animation (Video)

Those enterprising rascals at Next Media Animation have taken the Wayne Rooney scandal and re-imagined it through the wondrously visionary lens of Taiwanese computer animation.

The clip provides just about everything you’d hope for: videogame cutscene-level production value, bored prostitutes, and Rooney kicking soccer balls next to an abandoned barn as he laments the collapse of his marriage (huh).

In case you are irrecoverably confused at this point, I’ll try to provide a little context: Rooney was recently outed as having had an affair with a “£1,200-a-time” prostitute while his wife was pregnant. Next Media Animation is a news service in Taiwan that, for some reason, makes computer-generated clips of wacky news stories.

Their best work includes depictions of an Al Gore sex scandal involving brainwashed hippies and the Rod Blagojevich saga, complete with Fred Flinstone running sound effects. So yeah, that’s what we’re working with.