MLBWAG Spotting

God Bless Jamie Moyer And His Smokin’ Hot Wife

God bless you Jamie Moyer. You are old as balls. Yet, somehow, you managed to win a baseball game last night.

Buster Olney says it’s because you use an opponent’s adrenaline against them, and their uncontrollable desire to hit your slow-as-molasses pitches makes them chase balls outside the zone. But Buster Olney failed to touch on your most important weapon after you pitched seven innings of shutout ball against the Padres, Jamie: your smokin’ hot wife, Karen.

And when you have a foxy wife cheering for you — one that will probably be played by Blonde Sandra Bullock in the movie that will undoubtedly be made about your life, because, again, you are too old to be doing this you swashbuckling fuck — you can rock well into your 50s.

I know two things, Jamie Moyer.

One: the first time you pitched in an MLB game, I wasn’t even born yet.

Two: you are a motorboating son of a bitch, sir. Well done.

[Ride The Pine]

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