(Photo Via Yahoo! Sports)
10) He wants out of New York, but is afraid to just ask, so instead he’ll embarrass the stuck up Yankee management until they send him packing.
9) He wants to stay in New York, but only if he can play remotely from his art studio in Brooklyn.
8) He’s totally awesome.
7) He’s totally NOT awesome.
6) He trying to lure woodland mammals to climb onto his face, so he can eat them without using his hands.
5) He has no idea he has a mustache.
4) He’s getting sponsored by Jack Links Beef Jerky.
3) MLB does not test for Tom Selleck’s testosterone.
2) He’s looking to intimidate young, supple-bodied batters.
1) He’s single, and ready to mingle.
(Photos Via Getty,)