In the eighth inning of last night’s Cardinals-Dodgers game, Cards outfielder Matt Holliday walked off the field while holding his right ear. He seemed a little panicked, and now we know why: a moth had flown inside his ear. This is what nightmares are made of, folks.
As precious seconds ticked away and his teammates smirked like 10-year-olds watching a friend whose tongue had become stuck to a freezing metal pole, Cardinals trainer Barry Weinberg took Holliday back into the clubhouse to try to remove the moth that very well could have been eating his brain at that very moment.
Holliday was then taken into a dark room, where trainers put a light to his ear to try to coax the insect out. That didn’t work, so they had to use tweezers to remove the moth, which had fluttered its way deep inside his ear and was still alive when they finally got it out.
A brief reenactment of Matt Holiday’s thoughts during that eight inning training room visit:
Thankfully, the moth was removed, reportedly before it could lay eggs inside Matt Holliday’s mind and turn him into some sort of half-man, half-moth creature that only comes out at night and attaches itself to Busch Stadium’s gigantic lights.