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The Washington Nationals Read Fifty Shades Of Grey, Because Why The Hell Not

That’s the operative phrase here, running throughout every action that led to this post’s existence: “why the hell not.” Last week, Nationals outfielder/first baseman Michael Morse revealed he’s read everyone’s favorite shitty romance/porn novel,Fifty Shades of Grey – kind of. What exactly happened was that his fiancee read it to him (he apparently couldn’t take much of it), which kind of counts, we guess? Either way, that’s a “why the hell not” admission if we’d ever heard one – a man unafraid to get made fun of.

Because really, it was inevitable that in the wake of Morse’s revelation, someone would have some fun at his expense. And “someone,” as it turned out, wound up being a few of Morse’s own teammates, who decided to sit down and read a few Fifty Shades passages themselves (set to erotic background music, of course), because why the hell not? And now, below, you can see it here on SportsGrid. How’d that come about? Well, I came across the video at DC Sports Bog, then briefly chatted with my colleague Dan Fogarty about whether it was worth posting. Here’s how it went:

me: [news cycle] slow enough for this? http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/post/nats-bullpen-members-read-50-shades-of-grey/2012/07/26/gJQAdhWMBX_blog.html
Dan: sure why the hell not

And there you have it. Behold:

Predictably – though disappointingly, in my book – the Nats relievers don’t get into any of the book’s raunchiest passages. Example: for a time, there was a copy of Fifty Shades around SportsGrid HQ, which I flipped open one time, because – again – why the hell not? On that very page was a reference to the titular character’s “impressive erection.” Maybe that was the part where Morse told his fiancee to stop reading.

Oh, and one other wish: that Bryce Harper had been a part of this dramatic reading. Maybe he got asked and turned it down because he wasn’t comfortable with it. And you know how Harper responds to questions he’s not comfortable answering. Yes, if he was approached about reading Fifty Shades of Grey on camera, we bet Harper’s response was: “Oh, sorry, I don’t think that’s something I’d be comfortable doing.” What a card!