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SportsCenter Clowns The Hell Out Of The Mets

Would you buy a 4% stake in the New York Mets for $20 million? No? What if you got super-exclusive acces to Mr. Met? Still no? What about parking? Jeez. Well, this is awkward. If we threw in a $10 gift certificate to Country Time Buffet, would that in any way sway your decision? No go, huh? Well, at least we tried.

A term sheet the Mets give to prospective owners was obtained by the New York Times, and the document contains the heady financial agreements one would associate with partial ownership of an MLB team. But it also contains the desperate style of bartering you’d expect from Ol’ Gil on The Simpsons: in addition to partial ownership of a terribly-run organization, you’d also get the aforementioned access to Mr. Met (although the exact degree of your access isn’t spelled out — we don’t know if you could make him buy your groceries), a business card that says “owner,” batting practice at Citi Field, and, of course, the parking.

Over on SportsCenter, NFL analyst Marcellus Wiley and NBA analyst Tim Legler discussed the “perks” of Mets ownership — a discussion that basically turned into them laughing at the club for two straight minutes. One might wonder why a football guy and a basketball guy were discussing owning a baseball team, but you’re nitpicking at that point. The Mets were getting dumped on, and that’s really all that matters.