12:24 pm, July 26th, 2013
I don’t want to rag on baseball players too much (since guys in “tough” sports like football experience
freak injuries as well) but it’s hard not to roll your eyes when you hear about Torii Hunter and the Case of the Tight Shoes.
Hunter is listed as “day-to-day” on the injury report because of the following (
The Detroit right fielder left Thursday’s game against the Chicago White Sox in the eighth inning because of a sore left Achilles. Hunter says the problem was caused by dress shoes that were too tight…
He said he said he recently bought shoes that “might have been a little tight on the Achilles.”
“A little sore the whole game,” he said.
There are a few problems with this:
1. Torii Hunter, aren’t you super rich? Shouldn’t you have only the finest Italian footwear?
2. Your shoes were so tight that it actually affected you for days? How sensitive are those dogs of yours?
3. Repeat questions 1 and 2 ad infinitum because come on, man.
It’s moments like this that you realize what a fragile thing sports success can be. Accidents like
Tim Hudson’s ankle-breaking injury can derail a season — both real and fantasy. If Hunter actually misses time because of this (he is expected to play Friday), maybe you miss out on a few key points and end up losing in your fantasy league. All because some shoes were a little tight. Ah, the irony of fate.
So where does this stack up in the pantheon of strangest sports injuries?
1.A Prime Cut
In 2009, Carlos Gonzalez was an up-and-coming, talented youngster in basbeall. But it appeared he still had something to learn about fine dining. Gonzalez cut his hand on a steak knife and required one stitch. The incident forced Car-Go to miss one game, and probably go vegetarian. BIZARRENESS LEVEL: Should have used safety scissors.
While Dustin Penner and the Kings have been lifting Lord Stanley's Cup since winning it a few weeks ago, Penner could have done no such lifting in January. The 28-year old strained his back while eating pancakes his wife had made him. The injury kept Penner out of a game, and questionable for a second. Our suggestion to Dustin: Stick to the short stack. BIZARRENESS LEVEL: He was more of a waffles guy.
3.In Your Dreams
Arachnophobia is a serious condition that affects many people... even in their sleep, apparently. Glenallen Hill, a former outfielder for the Cubs and Mariners, was taking a nap in 2008. Hill though, was having a nightmare he was covered in spiders. The images caused him to jump out of his bed, and through the glass table positioned next to it. Hill was cut and bruised from the fall, but probably more embarrassed than anything else. BIZARRENESS LEVEL:
Like seeing Spiderman in real life.
4.Sorry For Party Rockin
Bill Gramatica was served a lesson in humility in 2001. After converting on a field goal in a game against the Giants (mind you, it was in the first quarter) Gramatica tore his ACL celebrating the kick. Really, in the first quarter? Kick didn't even win the game or anything. Act like you've been there before. BIZARRENESS LEVEL: Just pants-peeing embarrassment.
5.Pack Your Bags
Jonathan Lucroy was off to a hot start this year, before a strange incident landed him on the DL. Lucroy was attempting to grab a sock that had fallen under his bed, when a suitcase his wife had rearranged came crashing down, breaking his paw.
We had a different take, but nonetheless, it goes in the quirky column. BIZARRENESS LEVEL: WILMAA!
Amare Stoudemire may have rejuvenated basketball in New York when he came to the Knicks in 2011, but this year, he found himself in the tabloids for the wrong reasons. Amare punched a glass case holding a fire extinguisher following a Knicks playoffs loss the the Heat. The all-star power forward missed one game in the series due to the punch, and said he came close to losing the use of his hand. The story was nothing to clap about. BIZARRENESS LEVEL: Richard Nixon in Watergate.
7.Swing and A Miss
Everyone hates the packaging on a video game or DVD. It's nearly impossible to take off. It's almost like they don't want you to enjoy the disk. But Adam Eaton had a box-opening snafu for the ages. Eaton was attempting to remove the difficult packaging with a pearing knife, and accidentally stabbed himself in the stomach. The starting pitcher was then forced to undergo season ending Tommy John surgery. We know Tommy John surgery is depressing, but there are better ways to cope with your sadness. BIZARRENESS LEVEL:
One of these things is not like the others....
Fatherhood can be dangerous; just ask Brandon Inge. The third basement suffered an odd injury in 2008 when he was adjusting his three-year old daughter's pillow. The injury landed him on the DL, and his daughter in timeout. BIZARRENESS LEVEL: To fluff, or not to fluff?
During baseball's Spring Training in 2008, Lou Piniella simply called it Felix Pie's "situation." The Cubs outfielder was suffering from a twisted testicle, which, if you don't know, is way too painstaking to describe (WebMD it if you're really that sick). Pie was forced to undergo minor surgery, and luckily missed no time. But as far as weird injuries go, it ranks with the best. BIZARRENESS LEVEL:
Slammin' Sammy Sosa hit 609 homeruns in his career, but couldn't quite master the safe sneeze. In 2004, Sosa arrived to the clubhouse for a game against the Padres, only to sneeze twice and succumb to back spasms that forced him to the bench. We're guessing Sammy Sosa is one of those fully body, exaggerated sneezers, which is worse way to live your life than take steroids. Shame on you, Sammy! BIZARRENESS LEVEL: Somewhere between
here and here.
11.Anything Butt Serious
Andy Murray may not be the king of the tennis court, but he is certainly the master of the bizarre injury. Murray first strained a tendon in his hand in 2010 while playing Playstation. Then, nearly a year later, Murray was forced to withdraw the Swiss Indoors after hurting his butt. When and how did the injury occur? Well Murray wasn't quite sure
how, but it was sustained while sleeping. If Glenallen Hill was dreaming about spiders, what was Murray dreaming about? BIZARRENESS LEVEL: Getting struck by lightning, twice.
Hunter photo via Getty