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The Story Of Bryce Harper And His Free Chipotle Burritos For Life Is a FILTHY LIE

Two days, ago, we learned that Bryce Harper had waltzed his way into a free Chiptole burritos for life card:

Thanks chipotle for my free burrito’s for life card! The best thing ever! I really appreciate it! @chipotletweets twitter.com/Bharper3407/st…

— Bryce Harper (@Bharper3407) March 19, 2013

It was mildly upsetting, the whole rich get richer thing, but otherwise a blip on the radar. Not for Big League Stew, though – they reached out to Chipotle to investigate further and suss out more detail, only to find out a harrowing truth: Bryce Harper is a big fat LIAR.

Because those burritos aren’t for life, as it turns out. It’s only a one-year deal, and come this time next year, Harper will have to pay the full eight dollars and change for that tightly wrapped mess of Mexican delights. And an additional $2.25 for that extra glob of guacamole. Sexy doesn’t buy everything, apparently.

In Harper’s defense, the card isn’t the clearest: “Bryce Harper’s Burrito Card” could be one of those rewards points deals where ingesting enough black beans earns you a free handful of chicken, or something. But we assume there was some sort of pre-card-handout communication, and so we’re not quite ready to let him off the hook.

So why would Harper lie about something so mundane? Jealous of Abby Wambach, probably. She got the gold card.

[Twitter, Big League Stew]