NBA

Beware, NBA Draft: Charles Barkley Is On The Lookout For Shenanigans

Listen up, NBA Draft. We know all about you, okay? Don’t think we’re stupid. We remember what happened in 1985, with the bent envelope that allowed the Knicks to draft Patrick Ewing and therefore save New York. So if you try anything funny this year, what with the soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets needing a great player like Anthony Davis, you should know: Charles Barkley is watching you.

If the draft order was determined solely by record, the Charlotte Bobcats would have the first pick this year — and probably the second and third pick as well, just because. But the ping pong ball method allows for upsets every year, despite the worst team getting a 25 percent shot at the pick. The Nets, who are also in a dire situation talent-wise, have a much smaller chance of grabbing the top spot — and a shot at big man Anthony Davis.

And that’s what has Charles so worried. Here’s what he said to ESPN 1000 in Chicago on Thursday:

“I’ve got to tell you something, I’m really concerned about the number one pick in the draft this year. Well, number one, I think Michael would take Anthony Davis or I’d kill him (laughs). I can’t say this, but I’m going to be watching the draft lottery very closely because I don’t want no shenanigans.”

“I’m going to be very leery if Anthony Davis ends up in Brooklyn. You know, I’m going to be very leery because I know the NBA has a lot riding on that new arena, especially if Deron Williams leaves New Jersey. They didn’t get Dwight Howard. I’m going to be very leery if New Jersey gets that number one pick.”

That’s right, David Stern. Don’t try and rig the system, so your precious (second) New York commodity has something to be happy about, instead of the great sadness that is sure to envelop them come 2012-13. To make matters worse, this year’s lottery is especially important for the Nets, since anything outside the top three will be handed over the Portland, in exchange for Gerald Wallace.

What will Chuck do if the Nets somehow do win the first pick, and Anthony Davis becomes a Brooklynite? Will he murder members of the NBA front office? Call for a military tribunal of the Nets brass? Listen, guys: this dude will wear a dress on television. There’s no telling what else he would do, if provoked. So if anything, rig the draft the other way and give the Nets the worst possible pick. It will be the only way to satiate him.

h/t Business Insider