- Team USA Stares Blankly As New Zealand Team Performs Ceremonial Haka Dance
- 5 Takeaways From The New NBA Live 15 Trailer
- 'Tiny Titan' Glitch Is Further Proof Madden 15 Is The Football Version Of Super Smash Bros.
- Cam Newton To Jerricho Cotchery, The Panthers' Sleeper Connection
- Tony Stewart: Kevin Ward Jr.'s Death Will Affect Me Forever
A Miami Heat Fan Freaks Out Over Chris Bosh’s Injury
Here’s a Gchat conversation I just had with James, who runs our brother site Geekosystem. James is a devoted Miami Heat fan, and he freaked out this morning over Chris Bosh’s abdominal injury, which will keep Bosh out of the rest of the Indiana series. (My bitchy notes follow.)
Sent at 1:54 PM on Monday
me: what’s up buffy the vampire slayer
James: Playoffs ova
me: why because of boshie poo?
me: pfftalrighthave fun manufacturing that fake underdog statusat the fake underdog factory
James: We can probably make it by IndyWon’t make it by Boston
me: o good lord
James: And if we somehow do, LeBron and Wade are going to play 44 minutes a nightThey’re not even going to be able to jump to try to guard KD or TP or whoever, assuming they get to the finalsAlso now no one can shoot a jumperReliablyLeBron/Wade’s minutes thoughThat’s the 2nd biggest problem after losing Bosh
me: just stop ithe’s out for just this series as of now
James: We’re finding out officially after practice todayOut for series is scary enough as it isPacers are good yoDunno if you pay attention to themIf you watched yesterday you’ll notice we only took the lead when Roy Hibbert got into foul trouble
me: yeah i mean. they play in indiana.
James: LeBron played 43 minutes instantlyWhen Bosh went downWade up to 40That’s bad, bad news
Sent at 2:01 PM on Monday
James: Bosh is super important, people outside of Florida and non-analysts like to pick on him, but he’s super important.He still gets friggin 17/8 or soAnd he spreads the D cause he can shoot all the way out, and that’s what they doAnd it’s way better to have a Wade/Bosh lineup than a Wade/no one lineupWhen Bron rests
Oh, poor Miami. It must be so tough for you to root for a juggernaut.
Look, I get it. You like a team that is impossible to like, so the prospect of some kind of adversity must be exciting. “Look!” You’re saying to fans of the 29 other NBA teams, “We’re just like you guys! We have problems, too! Problems besides remembering to get to the arena on time!”
Yeah, whatever. I’m a Knicks fan. You want to know what a real problem is? Our second-best player punched a fire extinguisher. Have any of your players punched fire extinguishers lately? No? Okay, then.
One note: this bitchiness comes with an opt-out clause, because all bets are off if Bosh misses the Celtics series, too. Those guys might actually take some swing games from you in the final two minutes, unlike Indiana, who is still a year away from having the confidence to do so. (Watch the last two minutes of Game 1: the Pacers look like a team who doesn’t think they should win on Miami’s home floor.)
Boston, and its wily group of old men, have no such issues. So if Boshie Poo misses those games (and assuming Boston gets past Philadelphia) the Celtics could give the Heat some issues.
- Teila Tuli Heartbroken 20 Years After UFC
- Cheerleader Dances Through Laughable Wardrobe Mishap
- MMA Fans Protest Over Brock Lesnar
- Claudia Gadelha is UFC's First Strawweight Champ