NBA

A Miami Heat Fan Freaks Out Over Chris Bosh’s Injury

by Dan Fogarty | 2:57 pm, May 14th, 2012

Here’s a Gchat conversation I just had with James, who runs our brother site Geekosystem. James is a devoted Miami Heat fan, and he freaked out this morning over Chris Bosh’s abdominal injury, which will keep Bosh out of the rest of the Indiana series. (My bitchy notes follow.)

James: :(

Sent at 1:54 PM on Monday

me: what’s up buffy the vampire slayer

James: Playoffs ova

me: why because of boshie poo?

James: Yep

me: pfft

alright

have fun manufacturing that fake underdog status

at the fake underdog factory

James: We can probably make it by Indy

Won’t make it by Boston

me: o good lord

James: And if we somehow do, LeBron and Wade are going to play 44 minutes a night

They’re not even going to be able to jump to try to guard KD or TP or whoever, assuming they get to the finals

Also now no one can shoot a jumper

Reliably

LeBron/Wade’s minutes though

That’s the 2nd biggest problem after losing Bosh

me: just stop it

he’s out for just this series as of now

James: We’re finding out officially after practice today

Out for series is scary enough as it is

Pacers are good yo

Dunno if you pay attention to them

If you watched yesterday you’ll notice we only took the lead when Roy Hibbert got into foul trouble

me: yeah i mean. they play in indiana.

James: LeBron played 43 minutes instantly

When Bosh went down

Wade up to 40

That’s bad, bad news

Sent at 2:01 PM on Monday

James: Bosh is super important, people outside of Florida and non-analysts like to pick on him, but he’s super important.

He still gets friggin 17/8 or so

And he spreads the D cause he can shoot all the way out, and that’s what they do

And it’s way better to have a Wade/Bosh lineup than a Wade/no one lineup

When Bron rests

Oh, poor Miami. It must be so tough for you to root for a juggernaut.

Look, I get it. You like a team that is impossible to like, so the prospect of some kind of adversity must be exciting. “Look!” You’re saying to fans of the 29 other NBA teams, “We’re just like you guys! We have problems, too! Problems besides remembering to get to the arena on time!”

Yeah, whatever. I’m a Knicks fan. You want to know what a real problem is? Our second-best player punched a fire extinguisher. Have any of your players punched fire extinguishers lately? No? Okay, then.

One note: this bitchiness comes with an opt-out clause, because all bets are off if Bosh misses the Celtics series, too. Those guys might actually take some swing games from you in the final two minutes, unlike Indiana, who is still a year away from having the confidence to do so. (Watch the last two minutes of Game 1: the Pacers look like a team who doesn’t think they should win on Miami’s home floor.)

Boston, and its wily group of old men, have no such issues. So if Boshie Poo misses those games (and assuming Boston gets past Philadelphia) the Celtics could give the Heat some issues.