NBA

How Chris Bosh Got Embarassed Last Night: A Lesson In Nutmegs

On two separate occasions during last night’s All-Star game, Chris Bosh found himself defensively isolated on the perimeter against Chris Paul and Tony Parker. Both times, Paul and Parker shredded Bosh’s self-respect by calmly sliding the ball between his legs. This, of course, begs the question: Why? What makes Chris Bosh so nutmeg-prone?

Quite simply, it’s a tale of poor defensive technique. You’ll notice on the first play, Bosh weirdly crowds Chris Paul on the perimeter. Not to mention those eyes – those crazy, crazy eyes – piercing the depths of Paul’s soul, instead of properly focusing on his hips. Paul, feeling understandably uncomfortable, diverts his attention elsewhere, towards the middle of the court, psychoanalyst Bosh trailing closely.

But you’ll also notice that Bosh’s feet are set particularly wide, giving him very little lateral flexibility. You could fit, like, seven basketballs through there. And so: SHAZAM! Crossover dribble, ball through the legs. Eye contact broken. Chris Bosh staring into the bleak depths of humiliation – literally, Chris Paul skipping off towards the basket, ball in hand.

And now in real time:

Then, later: Tony Parker steals a horrible inbounds pass. Way to go, Chris Bosh:

But alas! Bosh has the chance to redeem himself on the defensive end, a Parker-Bosh showdown. But again: soul-intrusive Chris Bosh, present and ready. Once those eyes lock, Parker keys in.

Hesitation dribble left, crossover right. Chris Bosh, abandoned, patient-less, wondering where it all went wrong.

Then, angry. And fouling.

U mad, bro?