Eddy Curry Might Be The Dallas Mavericks’ Opening Night Starting Center. This Is Not A Joke.
You know Eddy Curry, the NBA’s running fat joke who has managed to stick around the league despite barely playing a minute over the last three years? To no one’s surprise, he was cut by the San Antonio Spurs a few days ago, and we thought it was unlikely to latch on anywhere.
Welp, Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks came calling, and Curry’s 2012-2013 campaign was back on.
Actually, it’s more than “back on.” Because the man is likely starting at center in the Mavs’ opening night game against the Los Angeles Lakers. Which means we’ll be handed a Dwight Howard-Eddy Curry matchup at the center spot for the league’s opening night. (Both Dirk Nowitzki and Chris Kaman’s injuries have left Dallas thin at the big man/center spot, so their choices are limited.)
In other news, here’s a photo of Hurricane Sandy from space. We wanted to make a joke about Curry’s circumference roughly matching that of Sandy, but it turns out he’s lost some weight and actually doesn’t look half bad. Still, he’s a defensive liability and hasn’t played in a meaningful NBA game in forever. (Alright fine, he started once in the last three seasons.)
Other fun Eddy Curry facts:
He has recorded more personal fouls (35) than total rebounds (29) in the last three years.
He recorded one more block (2) than assist (1) in 83 total minutes last season.
We look forward to the results of this experiment.