The Knicks’ Supposed New All-Orange Alternate Uniforms, Reviewed By SportsGrid’s Acid-Tongued Editors
Sometime earlier this week, a picture of the Knicks’ Iman Shumpert modeling a new alternate jersey – one that would supposedly be worn on Christmas – surfaced. This jersey is a bit of a… departure from what the Knicks usually wear. This is that jersey:
We wouldn’t blame you for a) being temporarily blinded; b) doubting whether these things are real. And as best we can tell, neither Shumpert nor the Knicks themselves have said anything about these uniforms being official. But no one’s said anything about them being fake, either, and MSG Knicks analyst Alan Hahn commented about them on Twitter, for what that’s worth. Also, in looking back through previous photo of Shumpert posing in Knicks uniforms, we saw nothing to indicate these were just old pictures that had been photoshopped.
So with all that in mind, we decided we at SportsGrid would do with these uniforms what we do best with terrible uniforms: mock the hell out of them. Read below as Team SportsGrid takes its hacks, followed by some bonus perspectives.
Glenn Davis, senior editor: There a lot of sad things about these alleged new Knicks uniforms. (It feels weird saying “alleged” about anything other than a crime, but these jerseys would constitute a crime against fashion, so I guess it fits). But even more than the fact that the design strategy was apparently “soak a regular Knicks home jersey in orange Fanta,” the saddest thing to me is that creating a bearable orange Knicks uniform wouldn’t be that hard. The secret: don’t make every damn thing orange.
Dan Fogarty, editor in chief: It looks like a pumpkin pooped on Iman Shumpert.
Dylan Murphy, associate editor: I could sass the one-color eye scorching, the illegible letters or overall lack of creativity. I could liken this to incarceration garb or monk-like robes. But I won’t do any of that, because this jersey is beyond sassing. A person, or really multiple persons, overtly chose this design. It was then reviewed by a slew of Knicks personnel, who probably tweaked and nitpicked here and there, all while utterly ignoring the glaring, eye-searing sea of orange.
This goes beyond a poor fashion choice. This is an institutional problem, an example of systemic malfunction and an utter lack of leadership. The NCAA should punish accordingly. I’d sum it up like this:
“The New York Knicks’ leadership failed to value and uphold institutional integrity, resulting in a breach of the [NBA’s fashion] constitution and rules.”
BONUS SASS: We also asked our friends at Styleite to lend us their fashion-centric hands and give us their opinions on these uniforms. Here’s what we heard.
Jada Wong, associate editor/Knicks fan: [condensed from Gchat] FOH. Glenn, why would you send this to me? Even Syracuse’s basketball team doesn’t have an entirely orange uniform, and our school mascot’s an orange..as in the fruit.
Verena von Pfetten, editor in chief: Is it weird that I kind of like it? I don’t know jack about basketball, but the uniforms are kind of giving me a warm and fuzzy feeling. So summery!
Hilary George-Parkin, associate editor: Are they trying to blind their opponents? If so, seems like an promising strategy!