NBA

Which NBA Owner Would You Most Like To See Mikhail Prokhorov Kickbox?

He’s a self-aware guy, that Mikhail Prokhorov. How else to explain him uttering a line that so perfectly enhances his “mysterious badass not to be crossed under any circumstances” image than what he told reporters earlier today about his star point guard – and impending free agent – Deron Williams? At first, the Nets owner was tight-lipped (which in itself helps perpetuate the mysterious badass image). Finally, though, after revealing he recently spoke with Williams, he then spoke about his potential competition for Williams’ services: specifically, the Dallas mavericks and Mark Cuban:

“Let the best man win. If he wins, I will crush him in kickboxing throwdown.”

According to CBS’ Ken Berger, “Laughs ensued all around” after Prokhorov’s line. Not from me. No, all I felt was hope: hope that this kickboxing match happens. Nothing against the Nets, but if it takes them losing Deron Williams to make this bout happen, then that’s a price that must be paid. Is there any doubt what the result would be? Of course not. Prokhorov would crush Cuban just as easily as he promised. He might even do it like this. But you can’t tell us it wouldn’t be compelling.

It got us thinking: what other owners would we like to see Prokhorov kickbox? Looking over all the owners in the NBA, though, there don’t appear to be many who could give him a challenge physically. Michael Jordan is the obvious choice there – of course, he’s not trained in kickboxing (that we know of…), but he’s Michael Jordan, so he’d get hyper-competitive and train his ass off, which might lead to a really solid bout.

Other than that, pickings are slim… except for guys you’d want Prokhorov to fight just because it would be hilarious to see them get destroyed. We’re looking at you, Donald Sterling and James Dolan… and to a lesser extent, whatever poor representative of the NBA David Stern would send in as the sacrificial lamb if Prokhorov had reason to fight the Hornets’ owner. (You don’t think Stern would send himself in for that beating, do you?) And to Cuban or whichever other poor soul may one day have to succumb to the will of Prokhorov’s finely tuned physique in combat: just remember, there are worse fates you could have met.

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