NBA

Yes, Really: Governor Of Ohio Makes Dallas Mavericks “Honorary Ohioans”

There’s little doubt that following the Dallas Mavericks’ NBA Finals triumph last night, the second-happiest fanbase (aside from Mavs rooters themselves, of course) belonged to the Cleveland Cavaliers. This, of course, is because of that guy on the Heat Cavs fans don’t like too much. And Ohio governor John Kasich, it seems, stands proudly among those who reveled in seeing the Heat get finished off…so much so that he issued a formal resolution about it.

That resolution offers “the Dallas Mavericks organization, friends, family and fans” status as “honorary Ohioans” for tomorrow, June 14. Fans, even? That’s a lot of honorary Ohioans. Of course, considering the fact that being an honorary Ohioan doesn’t actually mean, anything, Kasich can afford to grant the status to as many people as he wants. Indeed, we’re interested to find out what “the privileges and honors therein” re: honorary Ohioan status entail.

And in case you wondered whether this story is actually real: here’s the press release about it. Here’s a link to that press release on Kasich’s site. And here, again, is the resolution itself. Our favorite snippets that go out of their way to trash the mystery man without doing it by name:

WHEREAS, the Dallas Mavericks displayed the loyalty, integrity and teamwork essential to victory before the entire country…

[...]

WHEREAS, NBA Finals Most Valuable Player Dirk Nowitzki chose to re-sign with the Dallas Mavericks in the summer of 2010, forgoing free agency and keeping his talents in Dallas, thus remaining loyal to the team, city and fans for whom he played his entire career…

After reading that, we’ll leave it up to your political leanings (i.e. whether or not they align with Kasich’s) to decide whether this declaration was a fun stunt or waste of time and taxpayer dollars, and will instead just say: ouch, mystery man.

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