1:06 pm, November 5th, 2013
A week of NBA action is in the books, so you know what that means: We’ve got every single team figured out. In fact, the season is pretty much over — can we just crown the 76ers as champions and call it a year?
Sorry, Philly (and Toronto, and Minnesota, and Phoenix). We’ve still got a long way to go. Conversely, don’t worry Memphis and Brooklyn (we think), you’ll be alright.
This first week is more about guesswork and assumptions than actual, tangible analysis. That being said, look at all these teams — you’ve never seen gut calls quite like the ones I’ve made.
Note: These rankings will usually come out on Mondays.
1.30. Milwaukee Bucks
They ended up with the worst record despite the 76ers posting a 26-game losing streak. Props?
2.29. Philadelphia 76ers
Impressive in their commitment to getting a high draft pick.
3.28. New York Knicks
Arguably one of the worst and most disappointing seasons in franchise history.
4.27. Detroit Pistons
Josh Smith wasn't the answer. Now, he's the question.
5.26. Utah Jazz
They tried their best but were bad.
6.25. Sacramento Kings
Maybe next year?
7.24. Cleveland Cavaliers
Another major disappointment, one that could spell the end of Kyrie Irving's days in Cleveland.
8.23. Boston Celtics
This looks about right.
9.22. L.A. Lakers
No one expected great things from this team, and outside of Swaggy P, that was the correct assumption.
10.21. Orlando Magic
Bad, but setting themselves up for a bright future with two lottery picks.
11.20. Denver Nuggets
What more can we say?
12.19. Minnesota Timberwolves
Poor Kevin Love.
13.18. New Orleans Pelicans
Don't expect to see too many more postseasons without Anthony Davis.
14.17. Phoenix Suns
On the outside looking in, for the moment.
15.16. Atlanta Hawks
"Shit." --GM Danny Ferry
16.15. Charlotte Bobcats
Not bad for a team that no one saw coming. Not beating the Pacers or the Heat, however.
17.14. Memphis Grizzlies
On the inside of the playoff hunt, for now, which could put some fear into the Spurs. Maybe.
18.13. Washington Wizards
Congrats, guys. Hope you like your playoff matchups talented and tough as hell.
19.12. Dallas Mavericks
Glorious that they were able to make the playoffs, but a first round matchup with the Thunder is the end of the line.
20.11. Portland Trail Blazers
I REALLY like these guys, but if they face Houston in the first round, they're toast.
21.10. Chicago Bulls
Gritty as shit, but they'll miss Derrick Rose. They always have.
22.9. Toronto Raptors
This team is legit. That's all I can say.
23.8. Brooklyn Nets
Extremely capable of beating the Heat, and from there, the conference is theirs.
24.7. Golden State Warriors
They've got playoff experience, which is more than I can say for the Blazers.
25.6. Houston Rockets
The true dark horse in the West.
26.5. Indiana Pacers
They've got a shot, if Miami falters early or if they have a Game 7 on their home floor.
27.4. L.A. Clippers
If they want to claim the Western Conference, they'll have to climb through a gauntlet, which is how it should be.
28.3. Oklahoma City Thunder
At the end of the day, they'll have the MVP, and that gives them the nod over the Clippers.
29.2. Miami Heat
This isn't even their final form. They'll be ready to roll through the East come playoff time.
30.1. San Antonio Spurs
The cream of the crop, and like it or not, the team to beat this year.
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