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Sex.com Has Offered Kobe Bryant $5 Million To Participate In The Dunk Contest, No Sexual Strings Attached
Sex.com cares about sex things; they call themselves “a virtual pinboard for porn.” Also, their URL is sex.com. But they’re also up on the latest trending sports topics – you might remember that sex.com asked famed pre-race dancer Michelle Jenneke to pose nude in exchange for a “sizable donation” to the Australian Sports Commission, or that they offered Rob Gronkowski $3.75 million to do a porn scene with Bibi Jones.
The dunk contest, or really LeBron James’ absence from it, is a trending sports topic these days. Magic Johnson bribed LeBron James with $1 million to participate. People are fighting about it. So naturally sex.com wants to get in on some of the hot action, except they’ve sort of missed the mark on this one: they’ve offered $5 million to Kobe Bryant’s favorite charity if he gets all hot and sweaty out there at the dunk contest and once and for all proves he’s the NBA’s best player. Wait, what?
“That’s right. If it’s going to take a $1 million of Magic Johnson’s money to get Lebron James to do the Dunk Contest, well we want to make sure Black Mamba is there to prove that he’s the NBA’s best player.”
Right, right. Terence Ross is most certainly the NBA’s best player right now, so it’s about time that Kobe, who’s not the NBA’s best player, proves that he is the best in a contest which makes no such determinations. Here’s the entire press release with the offer:
“March 4th, 2013 – ‘As passionate basketball fans, the team at Sex.com was thrilled to hear about Magic Johnson’s million dollar offer to Lebron James. In hopes of making the 2014 NBA Slam Dunk Contest a historic event, Sex.com has reached out to Kobe Bryant’s agent Rob Pelinka and the NBA to entice Kobe Bryant to participate in the Dunk Contest for the first time since 1997.
Sex.com is offering $5 million to the charity of Kobe Bryant’s choosing for his participation in the 2014 NBA Slam Dunk Contest. However, this offer is conditional. It depends on Lebron James entering the 2014 NBA Slam Dunk Contest with Bryant.
Bryant and James are both members of the NBA’s elite and fans often debate who is the better player between the two. Sex.com wants to ensure that basketball fans get to see the two superstars use their talent and creativity.
‘…We at Sex.com feel it is important for the sport of basketball that Kobe and Lebron face-off in the dunk contest and we want to be part of this historic event. The NBA’s best players used to enter. Jordan versus Dominique had us on the edge of our seats. It would be a shame for these exceptional player to let pride take priority over sportsmanship…’ says Sex.com’s Director of Marketing J.L. Marcoux.”
Let’s make one thing clear: Kobe Bryant is an old dude. Sure, he’s dunked the ball a few times this season and can still get
it up when he needs to, but we’d rather see someone like Josh Smith.
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